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I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Friday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Michael Baggs

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They spent 22 days in the Australian jungle being forced to eat bugs, sleep in squalor and wake up next to Timmy Mallett. Somehow Joe Swash, George Takei and Martina Navratilova endured these hardships and entered the final of this year’s I’m A Celebrity in remarkably good humour. Perhaps it was the promise of a hot shower and a meal that wasn’t still wriggling that was keeping the finalist’s spirits up as their jungle adventure came to end.

The unlikely trio of a former Eastender, a Wimbledon champ and a genuine sci-fi hero spent their last day congratulating each other as they all set about trilling how wonderful it was to simply make the final. The spark of competition was notable by its absence - surely the celebs couldn’t really be so good natured?

A successful final trial can secure victory for even the most anonymous contestant - Matt Willis and a kangaroo anus springs to mind - and each finalist was given a last chance to prove themself.

Cheeky everyman Joe Swash took to a claustrophobic underground task with his typical happy-chappy attitude. “They’re gonna go up my bum” he yelled as he was sealed in a coffin full of eels and rats, before asking himself “Why can’t I just get a normal job?” If he did that, there would be a lot of unemployed vermin in Australia. Joe lasted ten minutes and scored the finalists five stars and the first part of a luxury meal.

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I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Thursday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Tom Murphy

Martina Navratilova, George Takei, David Van Day, Joe Swash (c) Rex

It always happens – we get down to the last few, and instead of tension, back-biting and tooth-gnashing, we get love, peace and understanding. Rather than a grim ordeal of testicle-munching and exposure to the elements, it turns into the kind of drink-fuelled camping mayhem you enjoyed with your mates when you were 16.

After mourning the expulsion of “ebony Adonis” Simon Webbe - “his buns were very well formed” - George Takei, along with David Van Day, Joe Swash and Martina Navratilova, was summoned for a joint Bushtucker Trial - “Celebrity Cyclone”. The Starfleet veteran performed with distinction, striding into an onslaught from water cannon and a wind machine to lead the team to four-star success.

Joe was still in the grip of a major adrenaline rush by the time they got back to camp, throwing himself frenziedly into another mini-task. Four ice creams had been hidden within the camp, and had to be found and eaten before they melted. While Joe left no shrub unturned to find the final goodie, David showed a lot less enthusiasm, heading instead into the bus to play with his toiletries.

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I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, Wednesday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Will Parkhouse

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"If you do find David Van Day's marbles, pop them in a jiffy bag and send them to I'm A Celebrity..., Australia," pleaded Ant or Dec. It seems unlikely that anyone will be able to produce said marbles in time for Friday's finale, and a good thing it is too, since Digital Versatile Disc, as hardcore fans have christened him, is still tearing this show up, gameplan or not.

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I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Tuesday, ITV1

Joe Swash

So, the nice atmosphere in the camp didn’t last long, did it? The moment Brian Paddick left almost everyone started bitching about him. However, soon the attention turned to David Van Day and his evil ways. More on that later.

First, Joe Swash had to climb a 100ft-tall Tower of Terror as part of his Bushtucker Trial. He had five minutes to collect six stars – not an easy task, but he did it in record time and, more to the point, while wearing a fetching outfit. His tight-fitting blue man-leotard was hilarious on its own, but with a pair of white Y-fronts on top, he looked „like a skinny Smurf”. In his own words.

Meanwhile, David and Simon Webbe were given a very dull Celebrity Chest task, during which they had to dig out some hidden keys to release the chest. While they were busy rooting around, the rest of the campers indulged in a bit of (well-deserved) back-stabbing. At the centre of it all was Mr DVD.

Martina Navratilova thought David should go. Everyone else seemed to support her and Joe, understandably, couldn’t get over the fact that David had tried to use him.

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I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Monday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Tom Murphy

David Van Day and Nicola McLean (c) Rex

After hostilities in the camp had been suspended the previous day, even Nicola McLean was looking to increase the peace, accepting David Van Day's olive branch and agreeing at least to tolerate him for the good of the group. As the sun shone down on the camp, they rubbed in each other's sunblock before setting off together on their quest for the Celebrity Chest. And this is where things got really strange...

While David's flirting became a little painful during the task – washing muck off a Land Rover to reveal padlock combinations – it was off-camera that the real drama took place. When they got back to camp, Nicola revealed to the staggered Joe Swash that David has suggested they flirt tactically to gain a bit of airtime and gang up on Joe, who he thought would now probably be the favourite to win.

Joe felt angry and betrayed, and the jovial banter between the erstwhile EastEnder and the former burger-flipper soon began to get a bit of a hard edge. Simon Webbe said his “antennas” had told him all along that David was a wrong 'un, while Joe confessed to the Bush Telegraph that he'd been well and truly “manipulised”.

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I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Sunday 9pm, ITV1

Posted by Tom Murphy

Timmy Mallett and Brian Paddick © Rex
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We're definitely getting to the business end of the series now. Tonight's 90-minute chunk of jungle life included two expulsions, Simon Webbe throwing up and a “penis moustache”.

We picked up from last night's cliffhanger – Timmy Mallett and Brian Paddick going head-to-head for survival in the Last Chance Saloon. The challenge was the now-familiar eating and drinking competition, with survival – and immunity from tomorrow's eviction – for the winner.

After they shared the first two rounds, Brian pulled into a 2-1 lead by polishing off his Penis Colada (Timmy ended up wearing most of his on his face – hence the “penis moustache”), before sealing the victory by getting his laughing gear round a really big worm.

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I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here, Saturday 9.15pm, ITV1

Davidvandayrex250It was about time we had a few more surprises for the campers in the jungle and on Saturday night Ant and Dec throw the celebs a curveball.

Yes, we were all voting for our favourites as usual but this time rather than the least favourite being kicked out the bottom two will go head to head in a special Bushtucker trial.

And the lucky contestants – Brian and Timmy! The pair will take part in a trial called Last Chance Saloon with the winner earning immunity from the next vote off and the loser going home.

And what does the head to head battle involve – well, it’s a favourite formula with Brian and Timmy having to eat and drink lots of horrible jungle snacks. Ah, how we love it.

Meanwhile, in camp tensions have been rising with DVD – that’s David Van Day – at the heart of it as he hangs on to the most comfortable and driest bed in the camp. Martina and some of the others are not best pleased, especially as it got very damp in the jungle during the day.

Brian was at the centre of things too as he had a bad night’s sleep but wasn’t prepared to confront David over who getting to sleep in the bus for a night. For the moment DVD has the high ground but we’re not sure it will last with Martina on the warpath.

In other news Esther threw a “safety officer” strop when Brian got a bit careless with the fire, we got to see Joe and Timmy shear sheep and Joe, Simon and Nicola won 8 out of 9 stars in the Bushtucker trial.


I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here, Friday 9pm, ITV1

Carlyzucker250 So Carly Zucker's luck runs out as she is the third celebrity to make an exit from the jungle. It's sort of a non-placement, not the worst but just one that will fade into the memory pretty quickly - much like Carly's jungle adventure.

What will she be remembered for, er, er, er oh yeah saying how tough it was being rich and dropping out of the bottom of a glass box 200ft in the air in show two or something. And that's about it.

She told Ant and Dec in her interview: "I just really struggled. It wasn’t really how I imagined it would be. I’m a family person so I missed my partner and my family in there."

On the plus side she did add: "Meeting Nicola has changed me I think. She’s inspired me and changed me in some ways."

Who knew a glamour model could be so inspiring! But then Nicola is a pretty tough cookie. Carly, naturally, would like her to win and told the boys: "I just told her she needs to hang in there. She’s a strong person and she’ll be ok, she’ll manage."

No doubt she will but for how long? will she or her arch enenmy David Van Day come out victorious. Tune in tomorrow to find out.

The latest jungle photos >>


I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Thursday 9pm, ITV1

Posted by Tom Murphy

Joe Swash and Nicola McLean © Rex

After last night's dramatic expulsion of Robert Kilroy-Silk, there was a storm of indifference across the nation this evening as posh totty and occasional TV presenter Dani Behr eased her way out of the camp. And given that she was up against Carly Zucker, it was probably the right result. After all, who wants to see Carly flung back into her nightmarish world of unimaginable wealth?

This episode picked up the action immediately after Silksie's departure, with scenes of hugging and sobbing reminiscent of the sudden – and short-lived – affection you suddenly feel for your ex-colleagues at around 11.30pm on the night of your leaving do: “Yeah... keep in touch... we'll definitely go for that drink...”

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I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, Wednesday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Robert Kilroy-Silk © Rex

So, Robert Kilroy-Silk is the first to head home. Initially up against five other jungle-dwelling celebs, it was then narrowed down to the former chat show host and ex-cop and politico Brian Paddick. There was, apparently, less than half a percent between the bottom two. "I don't even know what half a percent is," said Ant or Dec, whose zingers are still the best thing about I'm A Celebrity...

Maybe it was Brian's teary speech to Simon Webbe wot won it, an unusually moving moment for a show which prides itself on pouring bugs on people's heads then laughing as they scream in fear. "Black people in this country don't get a good deal," sobbed the erstwhile policeman. "We need more people like you." He'd clearly forgotten about Blue's substandard third album, but no matter.

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