Big Brother's Little Brother, Monday, E4, 7.30pm

Posted by Jane Murphy

So as the less-than-thrilling Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack draws to a close, those of us who have bothered to tune in are about to wave goodbye to the latest crop of housemates.

I can't help feeling a tad sorry for them all (relatively speaking, you understand). They probably think they're the talk of the tabloids - and dead certs for the cover of Heat - when actually, most of us wouldn't recognise any of them if they jumped up and down in front of us.

Still, the BB:CH not-so-grand finale does mark the end of an era - as Dermot O'Leary is set to present his last ever BBLB. There'll be no more overenthusiastic disco-dancing, tongue-in-cheek interviews or chaotic phone-ins with Mr O, as he's heading off to ITV to concentrate squarely on his X Factor gig.

Now, I hate to put the cat among the pigeons - but is this really a good idea? X Factor's huge - but it doesn't seem the best possible showcase for Dermot's down-to-earth talents.

And more to the point, who's going to present this summer's BBLB? Whoever it is, they've got some pretty big shoes to fill...

Picture: Wenn

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Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, Monday 9pm, E4

Posted by Alan Tyers

Radio One DJ Chris Moyles was the man on the ones and twos for tonight's show. He turned the living room into a pub, complete with bar, snug, furniture and a dartboard – and gave the gang a pub quiz.

The group split into two teams to battle Moyles's "celebrity pub quiz team", which comprised Sir Terry Wogan, Mark Owen and Ozzy Osbourne.

In fact, the voices of the "celebs" were all provided by Dead Ringers impressionist Jon Culshaw.

He called for the “dumbest" housemate to come forward. Where's Jade when you need her, eh? Oh. Emilia stepped up, saying that she was "the thickest" – her reward was a blonde wig, a corset and the chance to play barmaid.

The housemates didn't win, but there was some consolation as Moyles promised them pizza.
And John, as captain of the team that did best, got to go for a pint with Chris Moyles in the loft – and was also allowed to call his mum. Ahhh.

Also: Big Brother 8's Brian Belo (no less!) made a shock appearance – emerging from the shower; Moyles had the garden covered in fake snow; and Nathan admitted he fancies Amy.

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BB:CH - meet the housemates >>

Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, Wednesday 9pm, E4

Posted by Alan Tyers

Russell Brand was at the helm and a cracking show it was, too, with lots of dastardly behaviour from the foppish comic.

He took an instant dislike to Jeremy, insisting that the pasty racing driver spend the entirety of the day with socks on his hands.

Russell got a shock of his own when Jay asked him if he had slept with Kate Moss. "No," replied Russell. "I prefer the company of men. I haven't slept with anyone since I was 16."

But it was with the girls that Russell really earned his corn, flirting outrageously with Amy and telling her that she was on her way to being "the nation's sweetheart" and explaining "there's a gap since Diana died – you could be the new Queen of Hearts."

If Russell liked Amy, he was cock-a-hoop over Emilia, asking her to perform handstands in a bikini when she came to the diary room and then sending her to put Amy's nose out of joint by telling her "(Russell says) you're a user, you're dumped."

It wasn't all beer, skittles and gothic/pirate mirth though – Russell arranged for "a disgruntled cameraman" (really an actor) to burst in and freak the group out. Jade was especially pathetic, shrieking and hiding. God's sake love, he's a cameraman, not a wild elephant. The group thought John was in on the stunt, and told him; he took the hump.

Full marks to Russell for a most amusing stint. Next up: John McCririck.

Did you watch Big Brother? Post your comments below.

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Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, Tuesday 9pm, E4

Posted by Alan Tyers

Today's Celebrity Hijacker was Kelly Osbourne. How about that, ladies and gentlemen? Actually, the man in the chair today was Russell Brand, but the E4 show on Tuesday night was Kelly's day, see? More news of Russell's antics later on.

But don't let that make you think it wasn't jolly exciting. For a start, there were the first nominations. Circus irritant Victor received eight, Jade and Jeremy got five each. John, incidentally, was immune from nomination as he got a pass through to the final thanks to having been Matt Lucas's puppet on the very amusing first night.

John did, however, provide one of the highlights of the series when having to explain to Kelly Osbourne why he fancies her mum, Sharon. Eew. Kelly herself displayed the class that we have come to love from the whole family, asking him: "so you want to **** my mum?"

Double eew.

So: Victor, Jade and Jeremy face the public vote, which will be on Friday's show.

Other highlights included:
* Amy admitting to Kelly that her nomination of Emilia was based on pure jealousy because she is 'fit, glamorous, slim and pretty'
* After nominations, Kelly arranged a death metal party for the gang; they won goodies by moshing.
* Jeremy admitted he fancied Emilia.

SEE ALSO:
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BB:CH – launch night

Posted by Will Parkhouse

I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting it at all. Last night’s Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack launch night was just… brilliant.

The show's opening gambit took its cue from that old 24 episode when Jack Bauer receives instructions on killing the President through a tiny earpiece in exchange for the release of his wife and daughter.

This time, however, instead of Jack Bauer, we got a young Scottish politician called John who was wearing a stupid tartan hat to hide his earpiece and being forced to humiliate himself in front of his fellow housemates by saying ridiculous things – all in exchange for immunity from nomination.

“It will be so funny,” said Matt Lucas optimistically upon announcing the plan. But actually it was, with the laugh-out-loud-very-loudly moments coming thick and fast. “Massage his shoulders. JUST DO IT,” instructed Lucas, as 19-year-old boxer Anthony arrived. “Do it, John,” he urged gently.

Admittedly, the hilarity of the first hour turned to excruciating schadenfreude as John got more and more uncomfortable – he looked like a broken man by the time the last housemate went in – but hey, uncomfortable cringe-comedy’s better than racist bullying, right?

What did you lot make of it?

Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, Thursday 9pm, E4

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Oh, hello again Celebrity Big Brother. We thought Channel 4 had ditched you in favour of “creative renewal”, i.e. to prevent yet another embarrassing diplomatic meltdown with global repercussions and questions in the House of Commons. But apparently not.

Actually, this should be slightly different. Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack is CBB’s gimmicky little brother, you see – the plan is to keep the famous people out of the house in favour of 12 gifted young people. What? Are they suggesting Jade Goody wasn't talented?

Now, it’s something of a BB tradition for naysayers to bombard us with comments like, “oh look, another bunch of pathetic, talentless wannabes, this show should’ve been cancelled three series ago”. We’re used to it, frankly – but could they actually have a point this time? This year’s lot may not be talentless, but that doesn't mean they won't be pathetic wannabes…

Will you be watching? Will giving the stars big microphones and letting them run the place really help keep things clean? Post your thoughts below or, if you're the shy type, vote in our poll.

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