Real Crime: A Shot in the Dark, Thursday 10.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Tom Murphy

I’m not normally a fan of ‘crime porn’ – although Danny Dyer’s Tastiest Geezers on Chap2+1 often a raises a few (unintentional) chuckles. However, this series, hosted by respected reporter Mark Austin, succeeds in pulling the crimes out of the tabloid headlines and into a more human context.

When reclusive farmer Tony Martin shot and killed 16-year-old burglar Fred Barras in August 1999, the case sparked a furious public debate about how far people should be able to go to defend their property.

The decision to prosecute Martin brought outrage from his supporters, in both the local community and the national press. The general consensus was not only should he not have been brought to trial, but he should have been given a medal instead.

However, the documentary moved beyond the bluster and indignation to highlight the legal arguments that were being played out. We saw and heard exclusive clips of police interviews and were given the evidence of expert witnesses – including one bloke whose job seemed to consist primarily of blasting lumps of meat with a shotgun.

To predictable public outcry – orchestrated and exploited by the tabloids, as explained by Max Clifford – a jury convicted Martin of murder; he had exceeded the reasonable use of force to defend himself and had intended to kill or seriously injure Barras (and his accomplice Brendon Fearon, who was injured during the confrontation.)

Martin’s lawyers soon launched an appeal, focusing on his state of mind. A combination of paranoia, resulting from childhood abuse, and depression, relating to ongoing illness and previous burglaries, had left him with an intense and overwhelming fear of “violation”.

Based on this evidence, the appeal was upheld and his crime reduced to manslaughter, on the grounds of diminished responsibility. By July 2003, he was free again.

The programme then showed how Martin became an unlikely – and, probably, unsuitable – icon for those who wanted change in the law relating to self-defence. With the unstoppable weight of public support behind it, the Criminal Justice Act of 2008 finally offered greater protection for householders. Indeed, legal experts doubted that Martin would even be prosecuted today.

The fact that the case still arouses strong feelings indicates what a raw nerve it touched. However, the documentary offered a 360-degree view of the case, not backing away from the fact that whatever his crime, Fred Barras was little more than a misguided child who probably didn’t deserve to bleed to death alone in a Norfolk forest.

Picture: PA

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Breaking the Mould: The Story of Penicillin, Wednesday 9pm BBC Four

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Our rating:

Having cropped up on the recent Eminem album and played Oliver Cromwell in The Devil's Whore, Dominic West continued his run of unusual post-Wire career choices last night by starring in a one-off BBC Four drama about the development of penicillin.

West played Oxford-based Australian scientist Howard Florey, one of modern history's unsung heroes (although having said that, he is apparently pretty big Down Under and did admittedly share a Nobel Prize). But while Alexander Fleming made the initial discovery in 1928, it seems he'd all but given up on the drug, having been unable to find a way to extract useable amounts.

It's Time To Go Nationwide, Tuesday, BBC Four

Posted by Liberty Jones

      

Skate-boarding ducks, record-breaking brickies, Esther Rantzen in a mini-skirt… these were just some of the highlights of this shamelessly self-indulgent romp through the history of Nationwide, the teatime show which knitted together the regions for 14 years.

We'd forgotten just what a bizarre mix of entertainment and current affairs Nationwide was. One minute you'd have a giant snail drinking beer from a pint glass. The next, you'd have a geography teacher from Cirencester taking Mrs Thatcher to task over the sinking of the Belgrano during the Falklands War. The former prime minister was apparently so traumatised by the experience, she refused to be interviewed by presenter Sue Lawley ever again, even turning down an appearance on Desert Island Discs.

As well as some splendid reminiscences – including Frank Bough recalling fellow anchorman David Dimbleby's superior attitude – there was some great vintage footage of the BBC's now defunct Lime Grove studios: chunky formica desks, serpentine corridors designed to confuse visitors and occupants alike, a grotty canteen and (quelle horreur) copious smoking in the production office.

We also enjoyed the clip of the Nationwide pantomime, complete with Dennis Healey on piano, Sue Lawley in pigtails and John Stapleton in a seven-sizes-too-small tin man costume that had originally been designed for Roy Castle.

Despite being high on amusement, the documentary had its shortcomings. While Esther Rantzen hinted at the "chauvinism" of Nationwide, this was never properly explored. What's more, an hour was far too long – the highlights could easily have been chewed up and spat out in 30 minutes. Still, it was worth sitting through the whole thing just to see a very young Hugh Scully – then part of the show's legendary "consumer unit" – being bodily ejected from the Wembley branch of MFI…

Picture: BBC

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Britain's Most Embarrassing Parents, Monday, BBC3

Posted by Liberty Jones

       

We used to cringe whenever our mum showed a bit too much cleavage on school sports day - but she’s got nothing on the parents in this show. Presented by the relentlessly perky Kirsten O’Brien, this entertaining countdown met the kids whose young lives have been blighted by a range of parental transgressions.

We loved 50-year-old Butlins chalet cleaner Cathy, who was obsessed with the Osmonds. “If I don’t feel like doing a bit of hoovering, I’ll stick 'Crazy Horses' on!” she boasted. Blimey… talk about living on the edge. Her pre-pubescent son James was mortified by her obsession. “I’m going to run to Timbucktu,” he declared when she spontanteously broke into 'Teenager In Love' in the front room, complete with shockingly bad dance moves.

Rather less appealing was Trekkie Dad Kevin (also known as Badger, on account of his black and white striped hair). Not only had the dad-of-five covered his body in amateurish tattoos of his favourite Star Trek characters, he’d named his three sons Kirk, Jean-Luc and Benjamin Sisko. Luckily for daughter Louise, his wife drew the line when he suggested calling her Uhura.

“He thinks he’s a local celebrity, but I think he’s an idiot,” opined Kevin’s next door neighbour over the garden fence. Hmmm… we’re saying nothing.

But by the far the most disturbing parents in the show was 50-year-old Janet Cunliffe. After a string of failed relationships she'd spent £10,000 on surgery in a bid to look just like her twentysomething daughter, Jane. “They think she’s my cousin or even my sister,” said a surprisingly understanding Jane. “But never my mother.”

None of the parents featured in the show were run-of-the-mill but, perhaps surprisingly, all their kids insisted they wouldn’t change a single thing about them. James summed it up best: “Even though my mum is over the top, off the scale, crazy over the Osmonds," he said, "she’s still my best friend.”

Picture: BBC

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My Friend Michael Jackson: Uri’s Story, Sunday ITV1, 8pm

Posted by Jane Murphy

 

Perhaps Uri Geller genuinely saw this programme as a fitting tribute to his old friend Michael Jackson. Or maybe - just maybe - there isn’t much call for spoon-benders nowadays, so he needed a way to make a fast buck. But whatever his reasons for allowing us access to his never-before-seen home videos of Jacko, this primetime documentary ended up feeling like a hastily thrown-together mishmash of shaky film footage and bizarre talking heads.

Still, once I’d started watching it, I found it absolutely impossible to tear my eyes away from the TV screen. It was all just… well… weird. Some sample excerpts? Singer Patti Boulaye - a fellow guest at Uri’s marriage vows renewal ceremony, where Michael was best man - revealed how the King of Pop had an “amazing energy”, comparable only to that of the Pope.

In another scene, Michael, Uri and magician David Blaine went on a guided tour of the Houses of Parliament - before rushing off to catch the train to Devon with Oliver! star Mark Lester, so they could all go to an Exeter City match together.

However, my favourite moment came when Uri played a much-cherished 3am voicemail message from a panicked-sounding Michael about a proposed trip to the moon (yes, the moon) circa 2003. “I want to be the first one in the pop world to go there,” squeaked poor Jacko. “Now I hear that *NSYNC and all these people are trying to go.”

In fact, I’m not totally convinced it wasn’t all a dream. Maybe I just fell asleep during The Royal and my subconscious made the whole thing up. Perhaps you can help put my mind at rest. Did anyone else see this programme? Was it sad, weird, unintentionally hilarious - or a mixture of all three? Tell us here.

Picture: ITV1

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The Rat Pack, Thursday 8.30pm, BBC One

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Our rating:

Were you sitting at home last night pining for a below-average documentary that followed a pair of ordinary lads as they went about their daily business and put you off your dinner at the same time? Don’t worry: The Rat Pack is still available to view on BBC iPlayer!

Sadly, this half-hour documentary didn't feature the smooth Vegas glamour of Dean Martin et al. Instead we were treated to the down-to-earth London "mateyness" of pest controller Ricky Clarke, who resembled both James from The Apprentice and Ralf Little from Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, but without the extraordinary comic abilities of either; his younger brother Jimmy, a dead ringer for Big Brother champ Pete Bennett – minus the kookiness and the Tourette's; and their nine-year-old Jack Russell Charlie, a dog who may one day find himself up in front of a rat war crimes tribunal for mass rodenticide.

Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum, Sunday 9pm, BBC Three

Posted by Tom Murphy

Like Big Brother and adverts featuring flash mobs, Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum is one of those things on TV guaranteed to get misanthropic bile coursing through your veins and bubbling out of every orifice.

The format is like a grim Frankenstein's monster made from bits of BB, The Apprentice, Brat Camp and being stuck in a phone box with a load of wasps. Eight spoiled "kids" who have never left home (including, shockingly for the UK, two 25-year-olds) are given work-related tasks to see if they can cut it as adults in the real world. After every task, their parents meet to vote off the most useless of the brats.

After starting their first task – a day's work at a London hotel – it didn't take long for the tears to flow. Taking an order for still water at breakfast proved much too stressful for Nicky – one of the 25-year-olds, who has had a total of 23 jobs during her glittering career.

After breakfast they moved on to housekeeping, and responded to the challenge by arguing with management and being rude to the full-time staff (although there was a brief glimmer of hope for the future when one of the blondes was upset by how vile one of her fellow contestants was).

The final part of their day's work involved preparing and delivering a VIP reception for 100 people. Strangely, that seemed to go reasonably well, despite an early panic from one of the contestants about having to ask guests if they wanted still or sparkling water: "What? Everyone?!"

After a spectacular shrieking catfight back at the house, the parents gathered the following day to decide which of their spawn should be binned. In an exciting twist, they decided to rip up the rule book and throw out the brat who had done the best and therefore had the least need to stay in the house. So it was goodbye to Orion, a simpering but articulate Rufus Wainwright-wannabe who lives a life of luxury totally financed by his mum. Yeah, see you round.

I know this was on BBC Three, but I can't imagine who would voluntarily sacrifice time to watch such a hateful gaggle of pointless attention-seeking kidults – especially when the "winner" is going to swagger away with a round-the-world trip (courtesy of those of us still docile enough to pay for a TV licence).

Now, Youth Medical Experimentation Camp – that's something I'd tune in for. In fact, I'd even come down there and squeeze a few syringes myself...

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Tonight: Living with Michael Jackson, 9pm Thursday, ITV1

Posted by Jane Murphy

 

When we first saw Martin Bashir’s landmark documentary in 2003, it made disturbing - if unmissable - viewing. Lest we forget, this is the programme that shaped many commonly held beliefs about Michael Jackson throughout the last six years of his life.

Here was the lonely man-child who admitted to riding on his ferris wheel and cruising hotel corridors on a mobility scooter alone late at night; the 44-year-old dad who dangled his baby off a balcony and insisted his kids wore masks in public; and the former child star whose appearance had changed beyond all recognition, but who still insisted he hadn’t had cosmetic surgery.

For obvious reasons, the scenes that caused the biggest outcry - those showing Jackson’s friendship with a 13-year-old boy - were omitted from last night’s edit. But we all know what happened next. And according to the star’s one-time manager Dieter Wiesner, it was this documentary that caused Jackson to spiral into drug dependence.

Bashir’s style has been heavily criticised - perhaps a little unfairly - but I suppose he was just as baffled as the rest of us by Jackson’s behaviour and beliefs. And if that meant getting a little heavy-handed with the questioning at times, it was merely a sign of his frustration. But the truth is that Michael Jackson was absolutely unique. It’s almost impossible to find out what made him tick because he can’t be compared to anybody else.

His unusual upbringing, and the fact that he’d been famous for most of his life, meant Jackson had no concept of normality. He appears to have been surrounded by people who let him do whatever he wanted - whether that was to spend millions of pounds in one slightly manic shopping spree or to entertain other people’s children overnight at his ranch.

Like just a handful of his peers - Britney Spears is the most obvious name that springs to mind - Jackson became seen as a commodity. Many people ignored the real person with fears and insecurities, and chose to focus on the celebrity whose life had became a circus. So it was all the more strange when he died - because it seemed like we’d actually lost him years ago.

What did you think of last night’s documentary? Tell us here.

Picture: ITV1

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This Morning: Fern and Phil interview Peter Andre

Posted by Jane Murphy

Fern Britton’s penultimate day on This Morning saw her faced with that age-old interviewer’s dilemma: how do you get your celebrity guest to talk about personal issues when they’re only there to talk about their latest project? Today’s guest? Peter Andre - eager to reveal all about his new album and not-so-eager to reveal anything about his recent break-up with Katie Price.

Still, Fern and her trusty sidekick Phillip Schofield being the consummate professionals, it took them approximately 30 seconds to get round to mentioning the elephant in the room - using their tried-and-tested “good cop, equally good cop” routine.

Pete’s response? “I hope you understand I‘ve purposely not spoken about this for a reason. I’m between a rock and a hard place. When I don’t speak, you only hear one side of the story. Right now, it would benefit me to speak - and there are lots of things I want to say. But long-term, I know the kids are going to grow up and look back on everything, so I’m trying my best for them.”

Poor Pete was visibly shaking throughout the interview - and looked a bit tearful at times. Possibly the most awkward moment came when Fern asked him whether it was Katie’s recent miscarriage that had led to the collapse of their marriage. “There’s more than one reason,” Pete told her. “There are more than five reasons.”

And does he now regret the amount of exposure his family have had in their various reality shows? “Making your life so public is a mistake sometimes,” Pete admitted. “I’m partly to blame for that.” Still, as Fern and Phil noted, Pete is still being followed round by the ITV2 film crew right now. In fact, there was someone in the studio filming Pete being filmed by the This Morning team. Insania!

Anyway, Pete did eventually get to talk about his music - the new single ‘Behind Closed Doors’ is available to download from 10 August, pop fans - before he was whisked away to rustle up some scones with Fern’s husband, celebrity chef Phil Vickery. Pete completists may be interested to learn that he needed a bit of help with his mixing, but he was very good at rolling out the pastry. You read it here first!

So what did you think of Peter’s interview? Tell us here.

Picture: ITV

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Dragons' Den, Wednesday 9pm, BBC Two

Posted by Will Parkhouse

The last time I wrote about Dragons' Den on this blog, one of the inventors who had appeared on the show kindly posted me one of her products. It wouldn't happen these days: this was back in October 2007, when the recession was just a twinkle in Gordon Brown's eye – now you have to shell out at least a tenner simply to get a kick in the face.

Luckily for the inventing community, there are still five stern entrepreneurs sitting in a refurbished warehouse in the middle of some scrubland with stacks of cash just waiting to be doled out. Yes, eminently loveable James Caan, indelibly Scottish Duncan Bannatyne, genuinely dragon-like Deborah Meaden, weirdly tall Peter Jones, and derisive baldy glasses boy Theo Paphitis are back, introduced last night standing in a line with clouds whizzing by above their heads and heatwave haze shimmering around their suits like they were, well, the X-Men, basically.