I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, Wednesday 8.30pm, ITV1

Posted by Will Parkhouse

"If you do find David Van Day's marbles, pop them in a jiffy bag and send them to I'm A Celebrity..., Australia," pleaded Ant or Dec. It seems unlikely that anyone will be able to produce said marbles in time for Friday's finale, and a good thing it is too, since Digital Versatile Disc, as hardcore fans have christened him, is still tearing this show up, gameplan or not.

Unfortunately, the other campers keep trying to attract attention away from the man some people are calling I'm A Celeb's real favourite, with Joe Swash and Simon Webbe even attempting to write themselves a song. It's called 'Take Me Away (I Still Love You)' – those are my brackets, by the way, because brackets in song titles are A Good Thing – and it goes: "I live my life in the fast lane / Baby, do you wanna come too?" "That's blinding," gushed an awestruck Joe after Simon sang a snippet.

David was less than pleased by such heresy. "There's only room for one song in this jungle," he said solemnly, "And that's 'Biff Baff Boff'." The Dollar man was also unhappy at Martina Navratilova's two-star performance in her Bushtucker Trial. The former tennis player had to fish grubby rags out of a stinking bath and then jump through a mangle as feathers were blown in her direction, which she found particularly difficult. Apparently the stench was awful, though even those with 90-inch HD TVs would have struggled to catch a whiff.

In other news, there was an argument about someone pooing on the toilet seat, a suggestion from Martina that the camp sacrifice one of their stars for a rubbish ham and cheese sandwich "just for the p*** of it" (a phrase that was new to me, though I enjoyed it) and a series of messages from friends and family bringing the campers' day to an end with, in Joe's words, "an empty belly, but a full heart".

Finally, it was Simon who got kicked off, despite donning yellow spandex and displaying a Beckhamesque prominence in the trouser department. Sadly it wasn't enough.

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Comments

[Sue]

I have to admit, when David smacked Nicola's bum, it made my skin crawl. The pair of them went from hating the sight of eachother to being overly nice too sudden. They were talking, which was good but he has to take things too far. I would hate it if he won as he has done nothing but put the rest of the camp down. People are acting like he is a victim here but he has stood his ground against all of the camp and has given just as good as he got. He isn't some poor defenceless person, if anything he has annoyed everyone more with his selfish behaviour. I did feel sorry for him at first but he has shown himself for what he really is, and he has not been bullied in any way, the rest of the camp probably reacted that way as he came in basically calling everyone who wouldn't give up a luxury making him sleep in a cage for the night. When you go in to a group of people who have been bonding for days with an attitude, you have to be prepared to get attitude back. I don't feel sorry for him at all anymore, the sooner he is out the better. Joe to win.

[Joanna]

Well I don't think DVD should have made it further than Esther, Simon and Kilroy. And he most definitely does not deserve the crown.

[May]

David's a big perv, very annoying, tiresome, attention-seeking and embarassing but he's not THAT bad. His daughters are gorgeous - and normal lol. The home videos the night before last were all so sweet.

[Morrison]

Has everyone seen the extra footage videos on the Official I'm A Celeb...website? Definitely worth a look. Check out "latest videos" and "video exclusives under "Videos".

[Howard]

Can not believe David Van Day is "ahead of the voting by a country mile"! Just proves how many utter idiots live in this country.

[olive]

David is a slimy creepy lazy obnoxious self-centered PERV.

[Ashley]

A BIT irritating? I'm sitting cringing with my hands over my face everytime David comes on screen. To think people are actually voting for the unfunny attention-seeking idiot. Esther and Simon should NOT have gone before him. How on earth was Simon a bully?? Sure he followed suit after the arrogant bully Nicola liike most of the camp but did you not watch his exit interview? The only time he actually got angry was when David said he would kill himself if he had to sleep in the cave which struck a nerve with Simon as he's had friends who have commited suicide. DVD made a joke out of a serious issue. Please for the love of god get him out.

[Chuckles]

I have to say that Nicola was believable, particularly when Joe said he felt he had been taken in and David just hung his head - presumably in shame! DVD is an obnoxious man who intended to cause friction in the camp from the moment he entered it. His prancing around with loo rolls up his jumper last night just goes to show that he is after as much air time as he can get - let's hope he gets a lot of it tonight - hopefully we will see his eviction performance!

[Lucy]

I dont think that Nicola OR Simon should have gone. Martina and David should have gone! i know that people find David funny, but it gets a bit irritating after a while.

[Simon]

Of course I ought to add that it is clear from the public's reaction that Nicola Mclean weas lying through her (wonky) teeth when she claimed David had said 'it was all part of my cunning plan.' This is a woman who's contribution to this year's show began with "who's Martina Navtalliova then" and ended 4 nights later with " she's a leg that Martina, I've admired 'er fer years ya know". Oh, and with a whole load of serious bullying in between. So glad the dim wastrel is out. and i'll be gald to see the back of 'Navtalliova' as well, who's shown as much humanity and intelligence concerning David as a soviet-era Czech apparatchnik.

[Simon]

Simon was an obnoxious holier-than-thou thug who like most passive bullies stood on the sidelines whilst David was bullied outrageously by the sly nIcola, but then tried to claim the moral victory when it was clear the majority joined in the bullying. Only Joe not taking part made Simon step back. David is a stalwart guy, someone who has dealt with the most miserable backbiting bunch ever seen on ITV, and done it with aplomb. There is no winder the majority of the public have kept him in- David to win!!

[kim]

The public are speaking volumes with their votes -they don't like bullies. DVD has been picked on since he got there . That night him and Timmy had to sleep in the jungle cages because the camp would not sacrifice any luxury items i agree was right - that was Timmy and Dvd's initiation . But the reception when they got to camp was dreadful - they were basically seen as outsiders whereas the decent human thing to do was welcome them and help them settle in . Too much nasty talking behind there backs and stirring by the likes of the useless unpopular chavs that have now gone have turned DVD into a martyr . Now he isn't a saint but is still entertaining me and yes i know he's playing the game and playing up to the cameras . The previous 3 posters are entitled to their opinion as is everyone else but this is a popularity / likeability contest and DVD is still in and Nicola and Simon have rightfully been chucked out .

[Pam]

Who is voting for David...they must be mad!!! Simon didnt deserve to go before him. l find the whole thing bizarre. l will not be watching anymore.

[Adriana]

when dvd smacked nicola's bum, the producers of the show stepped in; physically touching someone in this way without their approval is against the rules. they told her if she was wanted, they would take action and remove him from the competition. she said no. awful, awful mistake. we're stuck with the revolting dunce and he may just rob three worthy winners of the crown.

[JK]

What type of people are voting for David?? The man is a moron! The buffoon is obnoxious, cringe-worthy and desperate. He is zero entertainment value & his failed attempts at trying to look funny are painstakingly embarassing. Get this idiot OUT OUT OUT!!!