Last Man Standing, Tuesday 9pm, BBC3
Posted by Claudia Pattison
Preview rating:
Six intrepid athletes, eight ancient sporting festivals, one victor: this is Last Man Standing in a nutshell. Over the past few weeks we’ve seen the plucky contestants – three Brits and three Americans – try their hand at exotic forms of wrestling, endurance running, stick fighting and kickboxing. Tonight, they’re heading for the Trobiand Islands, near Papua New Guinea, to play cricket. Sounds simple enough – but, as ever in LMS, nothing is quite what it seems.
Originally introduced to the island by British Methodist ministers in the 1930s with the aim of preventing tribal warfare, the sport has been adapted by the locals to include a hefty dollop of magic and a level of intimidation that would make most Westerners run for the hills. Personally, we can’t wait for tonight’s show – especially if it gives likeable-but-puny cricket enthusiast Richard (Little Lord Fauntleroy meets Aled Jones) a chance to shine.
Instead of the testosterone-laden, sweat-soaked, sub-Gladiators gang-bang we were expecting, Last Man Standing has turned out to be a fascinating and thought-provoking documentary series – and its success is due in no small part to the charisma of the contestants. We’re particularly partial to kickboxing Brummie Mark, who’s desperate to make his late father proud, and fitness guru Rajko, who’s got a six-pack you could bounce two pence pieces off.
It sounds as if the contestants are going to have their work cut out in the Trobiand Islands tonight. Still, after last week’s outing to Mongolia, which saw our bravehearts gagging over a pre-contest delicacy of sheep’s testicle soup, extreme cricket’s going to seem like a walk in the park.
But actually, all the kids and parents seemed pretty well-balanced and down-to-earth. True, a couple of the mums looked like they'd been Tangoed themselves, having evidently hit the sunbed hard in preparation for appearing on national TV, but the kids were remarkably un-bratty. 
Narrated by a Gary Barlow (Steve Edge) who bears little or no physical resemblance to the singer (as seems to be something of a Star Stories tradition), the story of the ultimate boyband’s rise, fall and re-rise is told with gleeful anti-Robbie Williams bias (“Angels was the breakthrough the little bastard needed”). 
So they travel Down Under with a camera crew in tow to document all the action. Bawdy clips from their Melbourne gig pale in comparison to such off-stage magic moments as meeting Kath & Kim, Lou and Andy’s cameo in Neighbours and a perilous encounter with Dame Edna Everage. 
When the Walkers realise money troubles are forcing them to sell the country ranch they holidayed in as children, they get all misty-eyed. That is, until mother Nora suggests they should all go and spend the weekend there together. As generally quite selfish people, desperate to let everyone know how damn dysfunctional they are, none of the family are up for it and make their excuses. Nora is upset. Poor Nora.
Tonight it makes its UK terrestrial debut with a double bill introducing us to a disparate set of characters who have all become aware of their super-human powers. Peter, a hospice nurse, attempts to convince his politician brother that he can fly. A high school cheerleader called Claire learns she is indestructible and can heal herself. Niki, a Las Vegas stripper, discovers that her mirror image has a life of its own. The artist Isaac believes he can paint the future. Matt, an LA cop, can hear other people’s thoughts. And Hiro, a computer programmer from Japan, can stop time through sheer willpower alone. 
Elsie Tanner was the original – and some would say, the best. With her flame-red hair and a temper to match, the bolshie machinist worked her way through the Street’s supply of single – and not-so-single men. Famously described as “the sexiest thing on television” by Prime Minister James Callaghan, Elsie was the archetypal tart with a heart – and we loved her for it.
Here, the serial panellist hosts a second series of Channel 4’s TV-only version of Room 101, in which guests pick their best and worst television shows and moan about them. Tonight ultra-dry stand-up, comic actor and Celebrity Big Brother winner Jack Dee takes to the chair. Lock reels off some lazy lines which the studio audience receives with such enthusiasm and guffawing, the warm-up man must’ve softened them up good and proper. 
How Gay Sex Changed the World on Tuesday makes for lighter viewing with frank and funny commentary by famous gay men (H Watkins, David Furnish, Simon Callow) about what they get up to with other gay men. Art critic Brian Sewell says: “I never came out… but I have slowly emerged.”
