I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, Thursday 8.30pm, ITV1
Posted by Tom Murphy

It always happens – we get down to the last few, and instead of tension, back-biting and tooth-gnashing, we get love, peace and understanding. Rather than a grim ordeal of testicle-munching and exposure to the elements, it turns into the kind of drink-fuelled camping mayhem you enjoyed with your mates when you were 16.
After mourning the expulsion of “ebony Adonis” Simon Webbe - “his buns were very well formed” - George Takei, along with David Van Day, Joe Swash and Martina Navratilova, was summoned for a joint Bushtucker Trial - “Celebrity Cyclone”. The Starfleet veteran performed with distinction, striding into a onslaught from water cannon and a wind machine to lead the team to four-star success.
Joe was still in the grip of a major adrenaline rush by the time they got back to camp, throwing himself frenziedly into another mini-task. Four ice creams had been hidden within the camp, and had to be found and eaten before they melted. While Joe left no shrub unturned to find the final goodie, David showed a lot less enthusiasm, heading instead into the bus to play with his toiletries.
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“A modern, dynamic and progressive man of the future with a voracious appetite for science and industry, a consort of the jet age, good looking, with a whiff of modernity.” “A virile man’s man.” Who do you think we’re talking about? Yep, got it in one: gaffe-prone royal buffoon in residence, HRH The Duke of Edinburgh. Yes, honestly.


