John Sergeant on the Tourist Trail, Tuesday 8pm, ITV1

Posted by Stewart Turner

A stern rap over the knuckles for whoever at ITV failed to notice John Sergeant’s new show was a shoe-in for a Sunday tea-time slot. Aimed squarely at the kind of people who find the Antiques Roadshow a little too racy and Last of the Summer Wine a little too blue, it was the perfect show in front of which to crack open a packet of biscuits and sip a cup of tea.

Affable John, these days known primarily as “a dancing pig in Cuban heels” rather than a respected BBC political journalist, is on a mission to see the country through a fresh pair of eyes. Instead of the usual celebrity jaunt through the rolling countryside, he assured us he’d be setting out to show us Britain as the millions of foreign tourists who visit our fair isle each year see it.

The Execution of Gary Glitter, Monday 9pm, Channel 4

Posted by Tom Murphy

Paedophilia and the death sentence are two subjects that people generally have pretty strong views about. So how did this oddly conceived dramatised imagining of the fictional execution of Paul Francis Gadd (aka Gary Glitter) turn out so utterly unengaging?

For a start, the format of the programme was a bit of a mish-mash. Emphatic title cards told us that “THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION” and “WE ARE IN AN IMAGINARY BRITAIN” where the death penalty was re-introduced after the Soham murders of 2003. However, it then became a mix of conventional drama and documentary-style interviews with the characters involved in the case.

It got even weirder when politician Ann Widdecombe, journalist Miranda Sawyer and media rent-a-gob Garry Bushell turned up to add their tuppenceworth. It only became clear later that they were playing fictional versions of themselves, commenting on the action depicted in the drama.

The X Factor, Sunday 8pm, ITV1

Posted by Rex Miles

Lucie Jones has been eliminated from The X Factor after competing in the bottom two against the controversial John & Edward.

Black Eyed Peas made a guest appearance with an acrobatic performance of ‘Meet Me Halfway’ as Fergie descended from the sky on a moon crescent and Will.i.am flew across the audience.

2006’s X Factor winner Leona Lewis turned multi-platinum also appeared with a beautiful rendition of new single ‘Happy’.

Appealing to the judges, Lucie performed ‘One Moment In Time’ while the twins sang ‘Rock DJ’.

The judges' vote was split, with Louis and Simon voting to save John & Edward, while Dannii and Cheryl voted to save Lucie.

In deadlock for the fourth time this series the final choice was made by the public’s original vote, giving Lucie the boot.

Let us know your thoughts on all the acts by posting a comment below.

To hear the tracks as they should have been sung, head to the Music Store now to browse our huge catalogue of songs.

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The X Factor, Saturday 8pm, ITV1

Posted by Michael Baggs

As themes for X Factor weeks go, ‘movie week’ was as flimsy as one of Dannii Minogue’s gowns, with judges bickering over what counted as a song from a movie and what didn’t. "I don’t know the movie it’s from and you’re cheating again Simon" trilled Louis Walsh after Jamie Archer sang ‘Crying’ from indie-flick Gummo. Not that it mattered, as Jamie was hardly the week’s talking point - other than for people to say it’s probably about time he packed up his gigantic afro and toddled off home.

But if picking a song from a movie about glue sniffing and teenage transvestites wasn’t random enough, Welsh beauty Lucie Jones plucked a track from Disney’s relatively unknown High School Musical knock-off, Camp Rock. Joe McElderry also sang ‘Circle of Life’ from The Lion King and the entire show was dominated by continual references to the contestants' outing to the movie premiere for Disney’s A Christmas Carol. It’s advertising that money just can’t buy - or rather, it’s advertising that only an international behemoth like Disney can buy. All in all, it was less subtle than being repeatedly punched in the face by a man in a 6-foot Mickey Mouse costume screaming: "GO AND SEE THE RUDDY MOVIE."

Now back to the singing. Stacey Solomon’s ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ was as boring as a morning in church and Olly Murs appeared to be morphing into papier-mâché comedian Frank Sidebottom in his ‘Twist And Shout’ routine. Danyl Johnson tried to win over the public with his newly cropped hair in a typically irritating ‘Purple Rain’ performance and poor little Lloyd Daniels continued to flounder with ‘Stand By Me’. Simon and Louis commented that Lloyd was out of his depth - making the music mogul duo the pair of hungry sharks circling the struggling Welsh teenager.

And what of the twins? Having turned being unpopular and rubbish into an art form, John and Edward’s terrible performance of the Ghostbusters theme tune was, as always, the evening’s most entertaining moment. Costumes, ghosts and a giant cardboard car - the only trick they missed was not changing the lyrics to "Who you gonna call? John and Edward!"

This year’s voting trends have been wildly unpredictable, (boo hoo hoo Rachel Adedeji) so anyone could end up in this week’s sing-off, but we’d recommend Jamie, Stacey and Lloyd leave an open suitcase on the bed before Sunday night’s results show.

Strictly Come Dancing, Saturday, BBC1

This weekend’s Strictly Come Dancing came from the home of ballroom dancing, the Blackpool Tower Ballroom – complete with Brucie’s predictably cringe worthy fish’n’chips jokes. But apart from the tiresome one-liners, there were some real highlights, including a Strictly first. More on that in a moment.

Ricky Whittle’s tango kicked the evening off, and the judges got very exited about his performance. Apart from Craig, who, like me thought he was a bit wooden. But each to their own.

Natalie Cassidy’s quickstep displayed a bit more passion that Ricky’s tango and, as she said herself, with Zoe, her close friend gone, she can now start competing. And it would seem she’s improving her score one point at a time.

Jade was described by Alesha as “the dark horse of the competition”, but what everyone really wanted to know was whether Ali had managed to recover from her foot injury. The answer is: yes. Ali and Brian’s performance was described as the dance of the series. The judges were unanimous – it was a success as reflected in the highest score ever on Strictly: four tens! Well done, Ali!

Unfortunately, the good times didn’t last long. Ricky got some harsh comments from the judges for his “entertaining, but disappointing” performance. Leila and Anton divided the judges, and Phil had problems being romantic during his dance (“it’s difficult when everyone is watching”).

Chris and Ola’s foxtrot captured the audience’s imagination, the judges were equally impressed and all that resulted in the third highest score of the evening. But then came another low point - actually it was the lowest point of the evening: Craig, “the local boy” and his flat-footed performance, which only earned him an embarrassing 17 points.

Not surprisingly then, his place in the dance-off was practically guaranteed alongside Ricky and his partner Erin. The judges’ decision was a no-brainer really.

Ricky and Erin are through.

Picture: BBC

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Comedy Showcase: Campus, Friday 10pm, Channel 4

Posted by Will Parkhouse

 

With the BBC currently receiving complaints a gogo for daring to broadcast anything that might mildly irritate anyone – even about safe shows like Have I Got News For You (apparently you're not even allowed to call the Queen a "Kraut" these days without people bellowing) – it's hard to imagine the broadcaster commissioning a comedy like Campus.

Thanks, then, Channel 4, which last night kicked off its experimental Comedy Showcase series – a testing ground for new talent, the first series of which engendered full-length commissions for Plus One, Free Agents and The Kevin Bishop Show – with a show full of scatological swearing and general unpleasantness.

Wonderland: I Won University Challenge, Thursday 9.45pm, BBC Two

Posted by Tom Murphy

One of the lovely silly things about British TV is how much we love University Challenge. From the film Starter for 10 to this year's outbreak of Trimblemania, “Britain's poshest pub quiz” (as one of the participants in this documentary calls it) still exerts a hold, even after 47 years.

This programme tracked down 10 of the 156 winning team members, from Francis Lambert (New College Oxford, 1964) to Susannah Darby (Christ Church Oxford, 2008), to find out how the experience had changed their lives. The quick answer: not very much at all.

While the 10 people interviewed had a wild variety of life stories, not many of them had much to do with winning University Challenge. In fact, any random group of high-performing students would probably have thrown up a similar range of experiences.

Coming up in 2010: V

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Have you not had enough big budget, big concept, post-Lost telly fun yet? Well, don’t worry, because 2010 is bringing with it intriguing new US import V. Well, we say new – older readers might remember the original '80s miniseries this is based on. If you do, shhh – no spoilers.

The first episode of the remake aired in the US earlier in the week and is set to come to British TV early next year, courtesy of the Sci Fi channel. Like Five’s current big budget import FlashForward, it’s nabbed itself a blonde Lost supporting actress with a unusually shaped but nevertheless memorable face – fans of the time-bending island drama will have probably seen the picture of actress Elizabeth Mitchell above and squealed, “Juliet!”

Meanwhile, geeks will also be pleased to see the opening episode of V features Firefly favourites Alan Tudyk (looks like a fun ginger version of Michael Douglas, has amusing surname) and Morena Baccarin (Latin lovely whose name's eighth Google auto-complete suggestion is "Morena Baccarin feet").

Anyway, the plot. One morning in New York, the earth starts shaking, planes start falling out of the sky and there are lots of massive explosions. But this isn’t just a run-of-the-mill terrorist attack, as you can see below.



Yep, it’s those blasted aliens again! Non-Americans need not fret – spaceships are also shown hovering above Big Ben, the Pyramids, Red Square and the Eiffel Tower. Weirdly, the Visitors (hence, V), led by the spookily perfect Anna (Baccarin), are not only charming and peace-loving, but they’re universally HOT, meaning the humans – including FBI agent Erica Evans (Mitchell), her horrifyingly good-looking son Tyler (Logan Huffman) and various other characters – rather take to them.

Here’s where it gets a bit True Blood, with the humans separating into pro- and anti- camps over the new arrivals. Are the members of this species really as chummy as they seem – or do they have some kind of dastardly plan?

We’ll have to sit tight for a few months, but with the promising opener packing in a few good twists, a jaw-dropping plane'n'car crash, and a (probably unintentionally) hilarious moment in which the V shockingly suggest introducing universal health care to the US – the horror! – we reckon we'll be tuning in next year to find out.

The Schoolboy Who Sailed the World, Thursday 9pm, Channel 4

Posted by Will Parkhouse

If you watch The X Factor, you’ll probably be under the impression that it’s the dream of most teenagers to win The X Factor. And that if you don’t help them fulfil this dream by phoning in your vote, they’ll cry and make you feel bad.

Not so 16-year-old schoolboy Mike Perham. Tonight's documentary begins with him staring out the classroom window imagining himself becoming the youngest person ever to sail alone non-stop around the world. Fewer than 200 people have succeeded in this – that’s people full stop, not under-18s – and apparently it’s quite a long way, so his dream is more than a little ambitious.

From the evidence of the programme, it isn’t be unfair to suggest that father Peter, also a sailor, is about as enthusiastic about the challenge as Mike: “It’s not just my dream, the trip – it’s mine and my dad’s,” says the youngster, which certainly sets off the Orange Towers Pushy Parent alarm bells.

The F Word, Tuesday 9pm, Channel 4

Posted by Stewart Turner

It’s been a rough twelve months for gobby Gordon. With the ‘F’ in The F Word veering perilously close to standing for "financial meltdown", at times it looked like his empire was crumbling faster than it takes to reheat a two quid fish cake and shove it on the menu for a tenner.

So it was nice to see Gordon gushing for a change. We’re used to watching him spit another culinary calamity into a paper napkin before getting to work on a Kitchen Nightmare, but last night he was given a chance to celebrate the tastier end of the trade, with two top Italian eateries competing in the first heat of a competition to find Britain’s best local restaurant.

All well and good, but the trouble with The F-Word is that it hasn't quite worked out what it wants to be. The aforementioned cook-off was a vaguely entertaining but essentially overlong Masterchef pastiche, while wheeling out Katie Price was presumably just a cynical attempt by Channel 4 to shore up the ratings. Still, we did at least learn the secret of her formidable mashed potatoes. It’s all about the sugar. No wonder Pete did a runner.