Good Week: Jenson Button, first EU President, Thierry Henry, Sarah Palin

by Greg McDonald

It was a rich week for Jenson Button as the 2009 F1 World Champion shocked the motor racing world by leaving the Brawn team which turned his career around for a dream pairing with 2008 World Champion and fellow Brit Lewis Hamilton. Some accused Button of chasing the money, but you couldn’t question the courage of a man willing to go head to head with a rival most consider a better driver.

It was a fated week for Herman van Rompuy, as the little known Prime Minister of Belgium won a place in the history books as the first President of Europe, an appointment which means a certain Tony Blair will have to content himself with bringing peace to the Middle East. Blair’s failed bid made for a very good week for another unknown too, paving the way for Baroness Ashton to become EU High Representative.

It was a handy week for Thierry Henry, as the French striker’s controversial assist palmed off the Republic of Ireland’s World Cup hopes during a performance that suggested the va-va-voom of France’s 1998 world-beating side is long gone. More sickening still for the Irish was that Henry had the Gaul to fess up immediately after the game – which was more than he managed the last time he cheated a more deserving side.

It was the week when Sarah Palin’s book tour proved so popular that commentators began to talk seriously about electing President Palin in 2012. But not all Americans were convinced that the former Vice Presidential candidate, who called Britain’s NHS “evil” and famously wasn’t sure what the Vice President did, would make a good leader of the free world.

Bad Week: Kate Moss, Harriet Harman, Amy Winehouse, Edward Woodward

by Greg McDonald

It was the week when Kate Moss found herself thin on support, as furious eating disorder campaigners like rival model Katie Green slammed her for turning young women into anorexics after she told a fashion website that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. Evidently Kate’s never had one of these 13-stone beef burgers – though frankly she could do with a couple.

It was a car crash of a week for Harriet Harman, as Labour’s deputy leader discovered she will face a prosecution which could hit hopes of making her occasional appearances at Prime Minister’s Questions a more regular event after the next election. Harman’s boss wasn’t having a much better time of it either, as the last Queen’s Speech of this Parliament drew fire from opponents over a failure to legislate on expenses corruption.

Remember 2007? Good Week was always full of economic prosperity, and even Bad Week was glamorous good fun, dominated as it was by Amy Winehouse’s thrills and spills. Well, the ‘Rehab’ singer’s fortunes were back to black this week as father Mitch embarrassingly revealed that Amy was in hospital after her new boobs sprung a leak – something he could surely have kept closer to his chest.

Finally, it was a sad week for friends and family of Edward Woodward, as the Wicker Man star passed away aged 75 following a battle with pneumonia. Here’s the veteran actor’s friend Anthony Valentine paying tribute to “dangerous” Ted – and here’s Woodward on song with Morecombe and Wise.

Good Week: Simon Cowell, Robbie Williams, David Haye, cricket fans

by Greg McDonald

Despite appearances to the contrary it was a good week for Simon Cowell. The X Factor mogul’s Jedwardgate U-turn may have made him UK public enemy No.1 and sparked 3,000 complaints from outraged viewers, but there was no doubt whose TV show everyone was talking about in the hairdresser’s. And over in America, in the week Cowell was revealed as US TV’s biggest earner, even David Beckham seemed to have got himself the Jedward hairdo.

It was an emotional week for Robbie Williams as the star “teared up” while granting fans their wish of fifteen 15 years and taking the stage with Take That. So is the famous feud between Robbie and band ringmaster Gary Barlow’s famous feud finally over? Or does Robbie’s decision to run away and rejoin the TT Circus have more to do with his latest comeback taking a fall from the high -wire? And is he really back for good?

It was a towering week for David Haye as the British boxer became WBA World Heavyweight Champion after going the distance in a David and Goliath bout with Russian giant Nikolai Valuev – and immediately lined up a verbal slingshot at his rival heavyweight champs the Klitschko brothers. It was the most exciting moment in British heavyweight boxing since Lennox Lewis knocked out Mike Tyson – more of Iron Mike later.

It was a sparkling week for cricket fans as a review recommended that the Ashes be returned to its former status as one of Britain’s sporting “Crown Jewels” alongside home Wworld Ccup football qualifiers and Wimbledon. Some claimed the loss of TV revenue would hurt the game, but surely making scenes like these from England’s winning 2005 and 2009 Ashes available for all to see had to be in the sport’s long- term interests?

Bad Week: Gordon Brown, David Cameron, Mike Tyson, Nick Griffin

by Greg McDonald

It was an ugly week for the leaders of both of Britain’s major political parties as partisan national newspapers stepped up their personal attacks six months short of a general election. First up the Tory-supporting Sun attacked Gordon Brown’s letter of condolence to the mother of lost soldier Jamie Janes, leaving the PM “mortified”, but leading many, including Jamie’s uncle, to questioned the paper’s own integrity.

And if Brown was mortified, David Cameron can’t have felt much better this week as the Labour- supporting Mirror hit back by exposing the Tory leader arriving at Westminster Abbey’s Rememberance Service half an hour early – for some choreographed close- ups with his personal photographer. Ugly stuff, British politics – but we’ve still got nothing on the Americans.

It was a blow of a week for the man they once called Iron Mike Tyson, as the former boxing champion was arrested for punching a photographer in LA. Given Tyson’s public fall from grace – taking in everything from sexual assault to biting off Evander Holyfield’s ear and bankruptcy – in the interests of balance here’s a clip of Mike becoming the youngest ever heavyweight world champion.

Finally, it was another bad week for Bad Week favourite Nick Griffin as his best efforts to present the caring face of race-hatred were somewhat undermined by BNP publicity director Mark Collett’s creation of an anti-Muslim spoof Pac Man game. We look forward to Nick’s efforts to deny the game ever existed when he’s back doing his best impression of David Brent on Question Time.

Good Week: Terry Herbert, Michael Owen, Sarah the Cheetah, Terry Wogan

by Greg McDonald

It was a shining week for Terry Herbert, the metal detector enthusiast whose uncovering of a priceless horde of buried treasure in a field in Staffordshire forced historians to rethink Britain’s Dark Ages. Grown men wept and Herbert couldn’t sleep after chancing on the greatest Anglo-Saxon find since Peggy Piggot disturbed the ghosts of Sutton Hoo in 1939.

It was a triumphant week for Michael Owen as the Manchester United new boy scored the most dramatic of winners to claim victory in one of the great Manchester derbies. Man City boss Mark Hughes wasn’t wildly impressed at the adding of seven minutes during which his side was “robbed” – but Owen, it seemed, might have finally sealed the deal with United fans.

Out on the running track it was a racy week for one sprinting cheetah - no, not Caster Semenya, but Sarah the Cheetah, whose new 100-metre record makes Usain Bolt look like a tortoise. The most impressive aspect of her 6.13 second PB was that at the age of eight, Sarah enters the record books deep into middle age.

It was a tasty week for Terry Wogan, as the national treasure was honoured with the erection of a life-sized replica in Covent Garden – made entirely from cake. Here at GWBW we still reckon this televised golf putt to be Terry’s finest moment – though while we’re on the subject of impressive erections, some of Terry’s devotees might want to take a look at this.

Bad Week: Alesha Dixon, Marilyn Manson, Leonard Cohen, Gordon Brown

by Greg McDonald

It was a flop week for Alesha Dixon, as the new Strictly Come Dancing judge – supposedly the Beeb's secret weapon against The X Factor's Cheryl Cole – found herself out of step with viewers, who gave her performance nought out of 10 and demanded the return of Arlene Phillips. Here at GWBW we prefer to remember how Alesha jived into our hearts in 2007.

You know, we thought Marilyn Manson was looking a bit off-colour – and it was a pig-sick week for the goth-rocker known to his mum as Brian, as he became the latest celebrity to go down with swine flu, revealing the news on Twitter. Well, if you were haunted by the seven demonic muses of Hell, wouldn’t you keep in touch via BlackBerry Tweets?

Yet against all odds Manson wasn’t the gloomiest old rocker hitting the headlines this week as Canadian legend – and author of ‘Hallelujah’ – Leonard Cohen was rushed to hospital following an on-stage collapse in Spain. Not exactly a spring chicken when his ‘60s classic “Suzanne” brought him fame, at 75 many fear for Len’s health. Get well soon, the pair of you.

Finally, it was another embattled week for Gordon Brown, as the Prime Minister was forced to rebuff claims that a rift with Barack Obama had wrecked the UK’s “special relationship” with the US. So keen were Brown’s people to discredit the story that they revealed their man had been hanging with Barack over the UN’s kettle. To play us out this week, here’s Jona Lewie with ‘You’ll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties’.

Good Week: Jermaine Defoe, Lord Mandelson, women’s boxing, Diversity

by Greg McDonald

It was a great week for England striker Jermain Defoe, as the super-sub saved the national side's blushes in Amsterdam, rescuing a 2-2 draw with a couple of striker's goals. Jermain says he's not taking his place in the 2010 World Cup squad for granted, but as the Premiership season gets under way this weekend a few goals like these should put the Spurs man on the plane to South Africa next summer.

It was a top job of a week for Lord Mandelson, as the Prince of Darkness's reinvention as the joke-cracking "Prime Minister's Willie" saw Mandy running the country (or rather, taunting the opposition) in Gordon Brown's absence – and whipping up such speculation that he could be the next Prime Minister that he was forced to issue an “official” denial. See if you're convinced.

It was a knockout week for women’s boxing as the female fight game made its entrance into the London 2012 Olympic ring, with the International Olympic Committee’s ruling that women can compete in what was the only Olympic discipline in which they weren’t represented. A body-blow for sexism? Not everyone thought so, and Amir Khan for one wasn't about to throw in the towel.

It was a slam-dunkin' week for Diversity, as the Britain's Got Talent dancers diversified (geddit?) into some basketball moves to net (geddit?!) some publicity for the Barclays Spaces For Sports programme. Ashley Banjo, whose choreography famously stole the BGT final show earlier this year, reckons the project gives kids a focus. Next week in Good Week Bad Week: Susan Boyle dusts off her in-lines to launch the Brixton skate park…

Bad Week: Alan Duncan, the NHS, Michael Schumacher, Les Paul

by Greg McDonald

It was a poor week for Conservative Shadow Leader of the House Alan Duncan, as the millionaire was caught out complaining that MPs are "treated like s***" and forced to "live on rations" on this secret tape. The Tory MP's message, some noted, wasn't entirely in keeping with his role as David Cameron's expenses reformer, and the boss wasn’t exactly thrilled.

It was the week when American Republican opponents of Barack Obama's healthcare reforms did their best to put Britain's NHS in casualty, claiming our “evil” system involves “death panels”. Yet while Gordon and Sarah Brown rushed to Twitter in defence of the NHS it seemed Alan Duncan wasn't the only high-profile Conservative out to ruin David Cameron's holiday, as Tory MEP Daniel Hannan spent the week travelling America's news networks calling for the end of Britain's NHS.

It was a painful seven days for Michael Schumacher, as the Formula 1 legend's fairytale comeback had to be aborted when the motorcycle neck injury incurred earlier in the year ruled him out of action – meaning this is the closest we'll get to seeing Michael on track this year. And Schuey's wasn't the only sporting comeback put on ice this week as England batsman Kevin Pietersen's much-needed return was delayed by infection.

Finally, it was a sad week for friends and family of Les Paul, the inventor and musician whose guitars provided the trademark sound for rock guitar heroes like Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page and the Who's Pete Townshend. The last 50 years would have sounded very different without Paul's innovations – and to prove it here's Slash putting the great man's most iconic axe through its paces.

Good Week: Tony Blair, Andrew Strauss, Harry Potter, Mark Hughes

by Greg McDonald

It was a high-powered week for Tony Blair as Glenys Kinnock, his onetime closest ally Gordon Brown's newly appointed Europe Minister, took both men by surprise, announcing Blair as Brown’s official candidate for President of the EU. As to the small matter of the job not yet existing – was Glenys bovered?

It was a big-hitting week for England cricket captain Andrew Strauss. After the skipper’s dreams of recreating his 2005 Ashes glory almost went up in smoke in the First Test, Strauss saw his tail-enders pull a draw out of the fire, poured water on some puffs of hot air from riled Aussie captain Ricky Ponting – and then began the Second Test by rising phoenix-like from the furnace of pressure, hitting "the best century of his career" on the opening day at Lord's.

It was a smashing week for Harry Potter, as The Half-Blood Prince broke box office records in the UK and US. And it wasn't just the millions flocking to cinemas who approved: even the Pope – who once claimed Harry "deeply distorts Christianity in the soul" – said “Amen” to the latest instalment. Here at GWBW we're still more impressed that 60 million people have now watched The Potter Puppet Pals.

It was a rich week for Manchester City boss Mark Hughes, who began splashing the oceans of cash bequeathed to the world’s wealthiest football team by owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed. And if poaching Carlos Tevez from neighbours Manchester United wasn’t brazen enough, how about Hughes’s efforts to lure “Mr Chelsea” John Terry to Maine Road?

Bad Week: David Beckham, Bernie Madoff, the armed forces, Katie Price

by Greg McDonald

Boo! It was an unpopular week for David Beckham, as his return to Major League Soccer saw LA Galaxy fans jeering their own captain. Of course, nobody was surprised to find Becks taking a few boos in his stride, as befits a man who's brushed off attacks from his own team-mates and Ali G. The real shock of the week was him turning down a raunchy fashion shoot with Angelina Jolie.

It was a long, hard week for disgraced Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, as the multi-billion-dollar fraudster and biggest villain of the past few years' financial disasters began a 150-year stretch in jail. And if Ponzi schemes mean as much to you as decency did to prisoner number 61727-054, here's the Cookie Monster to explain.

It was a tragic week for Britain's armed forces as hundreds lined the streets of Wootton Bassett to pay their respects to eight British soldiers killed on the Army's darkest day in an Afghanistan conflict, which has cost 184 lives since 2001. But while General Sir Richard Dannat was making his feelings about a lack of helicopters plain, Gordon Brown remained resolute about the Afghanistan mission.

Finally, it was another rough week for Katie Price in the ongoing public split from husband Peter Andre. While a contrite Pete was treated with kid gloves by Phillip Schofield on This Morning, Katie's reputation was given a trashing by Piers Morgan, who called her a “slapper” before an audience of millions.