by Simon Glover
What's being said as Rolf Harris, Status Quo's Rick Parfitt, and Wayne Morris film the video for their new single Christmas In The Sun?
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as 7ft 2ins Nikolai Valuev exchanged words with his cornerman during his world heavyweight title fight with David Haye?
Winner
"You're in luck - he's not allowed to hit below the belt"
Rob Falconer
Runners-up
"You really want to change places?"
Deb, Hastings
"Let me at 'em Uncle Scooby"
Ady, Hawridge
"How dare you be little me!"
Amy
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as Tory leader David Cameron travelled to Westminster by tube following a walkabout in Ealing, west London?
Winner
"Sorry to ask... But my butler normally pays"
Stewart Beetle
Runners-up
"Is that you or does it always smell like this?"
Diane
"Are you getting off with him or going all the way with me?"
Paul Smith
"London Underground would like to express our apologies for David Cameron, we hope he has not ruined your journey"
Oliver Smith
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as snake-wearing model Lucy Williams met a tarantula-holding zombie at the Phobophobia Halloween show at the London Bridge Experience?
Winner
"I can't believe thats all the change you got from two bats"
2PiesMash&Liquor
Runners-up
Lucy began to have doubts about the qualifications of Gregoire, her Romanian-born cosmetic surgeon
Doppelganger
"Can’t you use a hankie when you sneeze?"
Rob of Wales
"We now have our own fang club and website"
Dave M, Pontypool
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as the Queen unveiled a bust of herself made by British sculptor, Oscar Nemon, at the House of Lords?
Winner
"No... I requested a chocolate ice cream... not a chocolate iced queen"
Laslo
Runners-up
It was miraculous the way the chocolate fountain had set in an almost perfect representation of Her Majesty
Rob of Wales
"No, no, one said one was waiting for a BUS"
Valérie Falconer
"The head's quite good but where's the fantastic bust?!!!"
Lucy
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as Fabio Capello prepared a bearded David Beckham for a substitute appearance during England's World Cup qualifier against Belarus.
Winner
"Er, how long did I leave you sitting on the bench?"
Sean, Glasgow
Runners up
"So, I'm guessing you lost the contract with Gillette??"
Dale, Colchester
"I thought you said I was to play Wolverine, not seventeen"
Doppelganger
"Victoria's blunted all me razors"
Lucy
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said between Katy Perry and new boyfriend Russell Brand at a John Galliano fashion show in Paris?
Winner
"Do you have your phone with you Katy? I need to call your grandfather."
Jan
Runners-up
"Fashion? Pah! Katy had no Brand awareness whatsoever."
Ben Jericho
"Russell was a little confused as Katy insisted in feeling around for the popcorn"
Valérie Falconer
"Get over it Brand, I kissed a girl and I liked it!"
Sophie from Chesterfield
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said between Peter Mandelson and Gordon Brown at the Labour Party Conference in Brighton.
Winner
Mandy's naked Sooty show was always a crowd pleaser on the last day of the conference
Doppelganger
Runners-up
Gordon is stunned to see no evidence of any stigmata
Rob of Wales
Mandy ended his speech the only way he knew how: Jazz hands
Rob from Redhill
"...so Mandy, how many days would you say I've got in this Prime Minister lark?"
Darren, Barking
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by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said between Graham Taylor, Sven Goran Eriksson and Fabio Capello at the memorial service for Sir Bobby Robson?
Winner
Capello: "You really think I'm going to take advice from the Notts County manager!"
Liam Cumiskey, Huddersfield
Runners-up
The three contenders for Blind Date didn't know it was Ulrika doing the choosing!
Phoebe
"Leave Fabio to sing this hymn on his own - he likes to sing a Capello"
Rob of Wales
Capello: "Give Turnip Head a nudge, it's almost time for the hymns!"
Mark, Sheffield
by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as Eddie Izzard met Gordon Brown at 10 Downing Street after completing 43 marathons in 51 days for Sport Relief.
Winner
After 43 marathons Eddie proves that you can run but you cannot hide
2PiesMash&Liquor
Runners-up
"At least I've only knackered myself, not the whole Country!"
Dave M, Pontypool
"And I’ve had a pretty tiring few months too, Eddie"
Rob Pendragon
The Prime Minister graciously joined Eddie for the final two yards of his Marathon, declaring himself the winner
Valérie Falconer
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