Caption competition: Cameron on the Tube
by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as Tory leader David Cameron travelled to Westminster by tube following a walkabout in Ealing, west London?
Winner
"Sorry to ask... But my butler normally pays"
Stewart Beetle
Runners-up
"Is that you or does it always smell like this?"
Diane
"Are you getting off with him or going all the way with me?"
Paul Smith
"London Underground would like to express our apologies for David Cameron, we hope he has not ruined your journey"
Oliver Smith
Click here to see previous winners
Could you see 2 Jags doing this?
Posted by: Ben Jericho | 12 November 2009 at 10:37
`Are you getting off with him or going all the way with me?`
Posted by: Paul Smith | 11 November 2009 at 23:23
A politician was wheeling and dealing
on a tube journey to and from Ealing.
A sign on the door said "Don't Spit On The Floor"
so he stood up and sapt on the ceiling.
Posted by: Ken Doe | 11 November 2009 at 11:54
Tories on the right track as Cameron gains another seat
Posted by: Paul Smith | 10 November 2009 at 21:26
Mind the Gap, Mind the Gap, err not so much you Mr Cameron
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 10 November 2009 at 16:21
as susan reached for what looked like a gun, David began to grow uneasy about what the public thought about the Conservative's pledges.
Posted by: cheese | 10 November 2009 at 16:20
here at London underground we would like to express are apologies for David Cameron, we hope he has not ruined your journey
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 10 November 2009 at 16:20
Cameron:
I seem to have accidentally picked up Mr Brown's good eye ...
Lady:
Let me get you a hanky ....
Posted by: Ol' Dutch | 10 November 2009 at 16:15
David keeps in practice at dipping private pockets before he gets his hands on the public purse
Posted by: 2PiesMash&Liquor | 10 November 2009 at 12:07
`A train service for the public? Is this what they mean by `you tube`?
Posted by: Paul Smith | 10 November 2009 at 07:31
`I heard this carriage needed a new speaker`
Posted by: Paul Smith | 10 November 2009 at 07:25
I`ll show you mine if you show me yours ??
Posted by: j.loups | 10 November 2009 at 00:01
`They think I`m being fast-tracked, but I`m off the rails`
Posted by: Paul Smith | 09 November 2009 at 16:00
`Is this the right platform for change?`
Posted by: Paul Smith | 09 November 2009 at 15:53
Discount not available for OAPs (Overrated Avaricious Politicians)
Posted by: Paul Smith | 09 November 2009 at 15:37
There's a bag of toff-ees in here somewhere. (Cameron) I think I can see them to the extreme right of your handbag.
Posted by: Adam Jarvis | 09 November 2009 at 08:44
`Surprise! You`re on Candid Cameron`
Posted by: Paul Smith | 09 November 2009 at 06:25
Damn, I've just sat on John Bercow again.......let me introduce him........
Posted by: laslo | 08 November 2009 at 21:21
lose a few buttons on that shirt actually remove the whole thing
Posted by: benjani | 08 November 2009 at 18:30
vote for me and that money your looking will be kept safe
Posted by: benjani | 08 November 2009 at 18:27
hello ,could i trouble you for a ticket to downing street----how much?-----£200 billon will do, cash please
Posted by: ian | 08 November 2009 at 10:05
David saying, Are you really my bodyguard?
Posted by: barbara | 08 November 2009 at 10:02
Lady to David : Thanks for paying for my ticket.I seem to have mislaid my purse.
David:Don't worry my dear I'll put it on my expenses.
Posted by: Tina | 08 November 2009 at 09:41
That's funny. I seem to have three hands!
Posted by: David Wilkinson | 08 November 2009 at 07:01
Ahh, if only Thatcher could witness the quality of this privatised train line.
Posted by: Dan M | 08 November 2009 at 04:47
"Do you want to see the latest toy im getting for christmas","It's called goverment in my pocket it's gonna go down a storm".
Posted by: michael morris | 08 November 2009 at 04:28
"Here love ive got some extra swine flu vaccines im knokin them out fiver a piece"
Posted by: michael morris | 08 November 2009 at 04:22
I'm sure I've got a can of Mace in this bag
Posted by: Helen Hotchkiss | 08 November 2009 at 01:53
penny for the guy missus
Posted by: john | 08 November 2009 at 00:52
Have you got a expenses claim form in your handbag?
Posted by: stuart | 08 November 2009 at 00:04
Bloody Boris banning alcohol on the underground, i'm desperate for a drink!
Posted by: Jim | 07 November 2009 at 23:48
Okay honey give me your money,
no funny business i have got a shooter
Posted by: stuart | 07 November 2009 at 23:47
I have got the ciggys have you got the lighter
Posted by: stuart | 07 November 2009 at 23:44
Okay honey give me your money, no funny stuff i have a gun
Posted by: stuart | 07 November 2009 at 23:42
if your your looking for gordon brown no luck i,ve got him in my pocket .
Posted by: tom phee | 07 November 2009 at 23:37
It's O.K. Love, If anything kicks off I've Got a Knife.
Posted by: Rob zatac | 07 November 2009 at 23:16
What do you mean, I need real money? I only carry expense claims.
Posted by: Remooc | 07 November 2009 at 21:46
Expences a bit tight this month love, but you can give me the fare, it will save me taking it from your tax deductions.
Posted by: Mike Hooper | 07 November 2009 at 21:24
Cant find your lipstick dear? here use mine...
Posted by: Chay Longdin | 07 November 2009 at 21:20
Sorry to ask... But my Butler normally pays
Posted by: Stewart Beetle | 07 November 2009 at 21:16
get the spray out the guy behind has Farted
Posted by: sds | 07 November 2009 at 19:51
dont look now but the woman opposite is sueezing a cit on her chin
Posted by: mac | 07 November 2009 at 19:49
Graham Norton certainly looks taller on TV
Posted by: Simon | 07 November 2009 at 19:48
is that a bomb in your bag or are you just pleased to see me
Posted by: knhg | 07 November 2009 at 19:46
mmmmmmmm whats this your slipping me through the back of my seat
Posted by: kkk | 07 November 2009 at 19:42
if youve got your autograph book i have a pen because im famous you know
Posted by: herb | 07 November 2009 at 19:40
look busy and dont look behind ,there is a imirgrant down the carriage waving the torry manifest at us and smiling.
Posted by: grat | 07 November 2009 at 19:37
Lets hope the Tories don't rattle like this train
Posted by: mike | 07 November 2009 at 19:18
Only a few more months to go before I can stop pretending to like being with 'the common people'.
Posted by: Jackieb | 07 November 2009 at 19:02
A free train ride and a free 2nd Home Ahh this is the life.
Posted by: Steve Ford | 07 November 2009 at 19:01
The only thing I like more than a free ride on the train is a free ride on the tax payer.
Posted by: Steve Ford | 07 November 2009 at 19:00
No use looking in your purse when i get elected,i will make sure i tax you till it is empty,ha ha ha .
Posted by: old salt | 07 November 2009 at 18:40
Lady: 'I know that ball of wool is in here somewhere.......' David: 'sorry I used that to pull over the eyes of my supporters when I told them about a referendum on the Lisbon treaty he he.'
Posted by: Barnby | 07 November 2009 at 18:40
Im sure the keys to your private office are in here somewhere.!!!!
Posted by: David | 07 November 2009 at 18:35
How much? just to travel to the next station ,no wonder the MPs want a pay rise. American Express !
Posted by: Mark | 07 November 2009 at 18:33
i wonder if jacqui Smith would have you on her expenses for her husbands filthy habits for one night only?
Posted by: Andrew Taylor | 07 November 2009 at 18:32
Give us a referendum and Ill pay your fare
Posted by: George Baker | 07 November 2009 at 18:00
Hey missus! you don't have to hide and feed illegals in secret now, we accept anyone in this country.
Posted by: mike | 07 November 2009 at 17:58
Is that you or does it always smell like this?
Posted by: Diane | 07 November 2009 at 17:57
i said i watched the brazilian eletion, not i,am brazilian electrition, so put your gun away mister!
Posted by: twig | 07 November 2009 at 17:22
got a light luv?
Posted by: twig | 07 November 2009 at 17:15
Handbagging imminent...
Posted by: Raya | 07 November 2009 at 17:04
GOD sister ! You've lotas bread - I dig - wanna give info about how you robbed the poor I reckon I'm gonna do so soon.
Hail the GREEDY REV !!!!!!!
Posted by: Wild Thing | 07 November 2009 at 16:41
I left the tickets in the car
Posted by: Caroline | 07 November 2009 at 16:34
We have got the Lexus following us, haven't we?
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 07 November 2009 at 16:16
"GOD I'd rather have been mugged than have the conservative party following me.
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 07 November 2009 at 16:02
Me people tell me that all the kids these days walk around with their hands like this.
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 07 November 2009 at 15:51
"So they let women on public transport now"
Posted by: Oliver Smith | 07 November 2009 at 15:47
"Ok, ok. If I show you my Conservative Party Membership card, will you go away?"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 15:42
'Perhaps we could put all the public transport underground, keep the poor, smelly people in buses off the roads...'
Posted by: David Harris | 07 November 2009 at 15:22
Let me see....mm..........any tips in there on how to sort out the economy?
Posted by: Beryl | 07 November 2009 at 15:15
If I pretend to rummage through my bag, this pervert lifting his jacket and leering might go away.
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 15:03
" I assure you we are safe, Mr. Cameron...mobile...lipstick...Walther PPK"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:50
"I'll get yours Mr Cameron, it'll cut out the middle man"
Posted by: jan | 07 November 2009 at 14:50
Cameron, to female rifling through bag: When I said I wanted change on public transport, this is not what I had in mind.
Posted by: Paul Smith | 07 November 2009 at 14:49
"This is how you elbow Brown"
"What, you mean like this, Mr. Cameron"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:40
"No it's okay, love, you don't have to pay for my suit now - I'll screw you with more taxes later"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:38
"So this is how the other half live. If only they had expense accounts"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:35
"Nice cleavage"
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:22
Whats gordon brown doing tucked up in there...oops...sorry, it's a thorn in my side....
Posted by: tracy | 07 November 2009 at 14:19
Wouldn't mind risking a bit of "Lewinskygate" with this one.
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:19
"That's your cuff buttons sewn back on, Mr. Cameron. Now would you like me to take care of any more political stitch ups?
Posted by: TB | 07 November 2009 at 14:09
Could I borrow your ticket when the ticket inspector comes round??
Posted by: Ticket Master | 07 November 2009 at 14:03
"hmmm Top Totty" I wonder if she'd like to check out my wisteria
Posted by: spc | 07 November 2009 at 13:36
im sure i had some condoms in my bag - dont worry i have a condom in my inside pocket
Posted by: yygfh | 07 November 2009 at 13:23
penney for the guy
Posted by: blackeye | 07 November 2009 at 13:19
damm she is gonna realize i have pocketed her purse
Posted by: gg | 07 November 2009 at 13:19
try and look like common people and no one will reconize us
Posted by: gg | 07 November 2009 at 13:18
The move Superman III should be remade with Blair as Superman and his clone David Cameron as the evil Superman.
Posted by: Peter Wain | 07 November 2009 at 13:14
People are saying its Tony Blair's evil twin.
Posted by: Joyce | 07 November 2009 at 13:13
Please Mr. Cameron, let me pay your expenses!
Posted by: Mike | 07 November 2009 at 12:52
who's got the oyster's i'm hungry
Posted by: Alan armstrong | 07 November 2009 at 12:32
Damn it I've left the house without my wallet,lend me a tenner would you miss!
Posted by: philip takel | 07 November 2009 at 12:24
Ticket please!
Posted by: David Wilkinson | 07 November 2009 at 12:01
Excuse me but can you lend me the fare? I'm a bit short since they stopped MP's expense claims!
Posted by: John Peace | 07 November 2009 at 11:24
Is that a northerner...down south?!Wheres my gun?
Posted by: spike | 07 November 2009 at 11:09
With no referendum we are ALL down the tube.
Posted by: John Richards | 07 November 2009 at 11:09
Where did I put my pepper spray?
He cant read body language.
Posted by: Where did I put my pepper spray? | 06 November 2009 at 23:20
The passengers are saying, "If this idiot gets in I'll leave the country"
Posted by: Peter Wain | 06 November 2009 at 22:59
Westminster? Change at London Bridge to the Jubilee line and it's only a couple of stops from there.
Posted by: Ken Doe | 06 November 2009 at 16:40