Caption competion: On the buses
by Simon Glover
We asked what was being said as Lord Mandelson sat in the driving seat during a visit to the Alexander Dennis bus factory in Guildford, Surrey?
Winner
Simply too powerful and difficult to control... so is the bus.
Neill, Birmingham
Runners up
This bus is like the government - old, outdated and the driver isn't looking where he's going.
Steve, Aberdeen
All aboard the Labour bus - I'll take you for a spin.
Rob, Redhill
And now I'll show you how to do a sharp downturn...
Will, Glasgow
"is this how you poor folk do it?"
Posted by: The Bogus Anon No. 5 | 23 July 2009 at 12:40
Mandy drives the Cabinet around various housing estates choosing the next houses to flip to.
Posted by: Dot.com | 22 July 2009 at 20:19
Flushed by success, Mandy runs the Country plus National Express!
Posted by: Tony Moon | 22 July 2009 at 19:32
Let me know when you have a vacancy for a bus driver.
Posted by: Jayne Lewes | 22 July 2009 at 14:32
I'm sure the public will soon forget Reg Varney and accept me as the new Stan Butler
Posted by: Lindsay | 22 July 2009 at 12:46
I didn't stop to pick up those two gentlemen at the bus stop because the Tabloids would have made it sound sordid
Posted by: Lindsay | 22 July 2009 at 12:46
Lord Mandelson volunteered immediately when asked if he’d like a ride on Dennis
Posted by: Lindsay | 22 July 2009 at 12:46
So this is the green way to travel, eh? Is that green as in naive?
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 22 July 2009 at 12:45
This bus has got more seats than Labour will have after the next election
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 22 July 2009 at 12:45
As usual, Lord Mandelson goes for a spin
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 22 July 2009 at 12:45
This bus is One-Mandy-Operated
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 22 July 2009 at 12:44
No, no, no, Lord Mandelson – it stands for One-Man-Operated
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 22 July 2009 at 12:44
The heel on the bus goes round and round
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 22 July 2009 at 12:44
Yep, I went with the purple tie. Well, you only live once.
Posted by: Jon Begley | 22 July 2009 at 11:59
...whereas with this car I MAKE £100 on the way to work!
Posted by: Jon Begley | 22 July 2009 at 11:58
don't tell anyone, i got this out of my expenses.
Posted by: jp | 21 July 2009 at 19:51
All aboard for some 'fiscal stimulus'!
Posted by: Jo | 21 July 2009 at 14:19
As usual I'm in the driving seat
Posted by: Foxmoor | 21 July 2009 at 13:10
Wherever I am or whatever I'm doing I WILL TAKE THE WHEEL and be in control
Posted by: Katie | 21 July 2009 at 13:05
Just what I need for cruising
Posted by: Mike | 21 July 2009 at 12:38
The reason I'm smiling is that I'm sitting on gear knob!
Posted by: john | 20 July 2009 at 23:16
When told that he had a photo opportunity driving a powerful vehicle, Mandy hoped that Clarkson had finally given in, and was going to let him drive the 'reasonably priced car'!
Posted by: Chris Meadowcroft | 20 July 2009 at 14:44
When I asked if there was anything that I could give a spin, I wasn't expecting this...!
Posted by: Chris Meadowcroft | 20 July 2009 at 14:37
This is my newest form of transport, public transport is so much cheaper than my private jet in these troubling times.
Posted by: iain | 19 July 2009 at 21:27
I like it when I have to shout "Standing Room Only".
Posted by: Real Bogus Anon | 19 July 2009 at 19:29
Do you think I look like Cliff in this?
Posted by: paul | 18 July 2009 at 19:14
This wasn't what I expected when they offered me a Double Decker after lunch.
Posted by: gws | 18 July 2009 at 18:00
Just one thing - can you refit the driver protection screen before Gordon gets on.
Posted by: Brian Cant | 18 July 2009 at 11:55
Just like politics - I'm being forced to drive on the left but I much prefer to drive on the right.
Posted by: T Jones | 18 July 2009 at 11:50
'David Cameron as the next Prime Minister? - he might be hit by a bus tomorrow and everything could change'
Posted by: T Jones | 18 July 2009 at 11:45
Gosh, do people still have money to catch buses? - we need to increase taxes - lets make them walk.
Posted by: D Shingle | 18 July 2009 at 11:38
Ah, this ticket machine could come in handy for my expenses.
Posted by: D Shingle | 18 July 2009 at 11:35
Its the first bus to run on MP's biomass.
Posted by: D Shingle | 18 July 2009 at 11:34
If you can leave the seats at the front of the bus for the 'politically disabled' - by that I mean cabinet ministers.
Posted by: Betty Jarvis | 18 July 2009 at 11:30
Sorry no new passengers. This bus is the cabinet express - one way/non stop - step down only/departures only, due to nearing the end of its journey.
Posted by: M Silk | 18 July 2009 at 10:13
Dont know about the inner circle but whats the chances of FORMING A CIRCLE?
Posted by: FORMING A CIRCLE | 18 July 2009 at 10:09
Sorry no new passengers. This bus is an one way express/non stop 'step down only' due to nearing the end of its journey.
Posted by: M Silks | 18 July 2009 at 10:08
Lord Mandelson refuses to drive the bus on the grounds its advertising the latest Harry Potter.
Posted by: Tom Watts | 18 July 2009 at 09:59
oops i thought this was a bendy bus
Posted by: lisa hymos | 18 July 2009 at 09:55
I've been given the inner circle bus route.
Posted by: Tom Watts | 18 July 2009 at 09:45
We're heading off on the Mandelson Mystery Tour - I've got my pension pot in the back, I'm just hoping things don't end up like the Italian job.
Posted by: Betty Jarvis | 18 July 2009 at 09:42
If you can leave the seats at the front of the bus for the 'physically disabled' - by that I mean cabinet ministers.
Posted by: Betty Jarvis | 18 July 2009 at 09:35
Standing room at the back.
Posted by: Shafted | 17 July 2009 at 20:48
Plenty more room on top
Posted by: Ape Oofter | 17 July 2009 at 19:04
" The Lord is not for turning"
Posted by: Angus | 17 July 2009 at 16:36
You just can't beat taking people for a ride.
Posted by: C Embleton | 17 July 2009 at 15:08
These buses are a bit like cabinet resignations, there are none for ages then they all come at once.
Posted by: C Embleton | 17 July 2009 at 15:07
The head of the Governments new steering comity admits, he doesn't have a clue how to drive the thing!
Posted by: doppelganger | 17 July 2009 at 14:34
Head of Governments new steering comity admits he doesn't have a clue how to drive the thing!
Posted by: doppelganger | 17 July 2009 at 14:28
What do you mean, have I got my bus pass?
Posted by: Dot.com | 17 July 2009 at 14:28
When do I get to meet Dennis, Ducky?
Posted by: ... ... ... | 17 July 2009 at 14:26
euan is now posting under the pseudonym "doppleganger" to avoid confusion with an occasional poster called Euan.
Posted by: doppelganger | 17 July 2009 at 14:12
Election? who needs elections?
Posted by: Brian Wylie | 17 July 2009 at 09:20
Slimey git
Posted by: ... ... ... | 16 July 2009 at 21:38
All this free advertising means I will be on the board next week earning another half a million pound a year for nothing.
Its great not to have money worries
ISN'T IT
Posted by: free advertising | 16 July 2009 at 21:28
Im having all the seats taken out and a ghetto blaster installed.
Its standing room only on the next ferry.
Posted by: Its standing room only | 16 July 2009 at 20:05
Its not as BIG as the GRAVY TRAIN but I will get as much out of it as I can.
Posted by: GRAVY TRAIN | 16 July 2009 at 20:01
Last time I had hold of one this big I was on a yacht.
Posted by: Its a biggun | 16 July 2009 at 19:46
Im driving this to russia to see if my mate can do a better deal.
Posted by: a better deal | 16 July 2009 at 19:44
Its a CAMPER really and I AM REALLY CAMP...
Posted by: Its a CAMPER really | 16 July 2009 at 19:42
YES SUCKERS.
NOBODY LIKES THE TRUTH DO THEY.
I am going to take you all for a ride again. HA HA !!
Posted by: YES SUCKERS | 16 July 2009 at 19:39
we're all going on a Euro Holiday...
Posted by: harry | 16 July 2009 at 17:15
Mandy- do you think that you could quantatively squeeze us through the next general election
Posted by: Giles Usher | 16 July 2009 at 17:07
i!ve driven every one round the bend for ten years, why not this company, sorry dennis, im the menace, buy the commons beano for my next escapade.!!!!!
Posted by: andy | 16 July 2009 at 17:04
No Gordon!
You have been taking the country for a ride for longer enough its my turn now.
Posted by: murray | 16 July 2009 at 16:50
Do you think that you can drive the bus without spinning; would be rather difficult, as spinning comes as second nature to you.
Posted by: Coraline | 16 July 2009 at 16:31
Now we can bring them in in bus loads.
Posted by: Dot.com | 16 July 2009 at 16:28
Perhaps the economy will be in better shape if he avoids another left turn
Posted by: Alan | 16 July 2009 at 16:03
Should Mandy not be looking to the left, but to the centre to see where he is going.
Posted by: Alan | 16 July 2009 at 15:55
Would you like a VAT receipt?
So you claim on expenses.
Posted by: Barns | 16 July 2009 at 15:50
I'll need a job after the next election. A bus driver? Sounds good to me.
Posted by: John Holt | 16 July 2009 at 15:45
so this is how workers earn the money, too much like hard work for me.
Posted by: david hague | 16 July 2009 at 15:34
"Let's see how many bridges I can knock down now that I'm at the wheel!"
Posted by: Keefy | 16 July 2009 at 15:21
First 'Direct' bus service to Northern Cyprus, it's been a long time coming admits Lord Mandelson.
Posted by: CyprusChill | 16 July 2009 at 14:47
Hmmm.... the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.....and the throb of the engine makes me smile just that little bit wider.
Posted by: Jimbob | 16 July 2009 at 14:40
This bus is One-Mandy-Operated
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 16 July 2009 at 14:20
I love it when a boy racer is up my rear piping his horn
Posted by: top tutty | 16 July 2009 at 14:17
So this is the green way to travel, eh? Is that green as in naive?
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 16 July 2009 at 14:16
This bus has got more seats than Labour will have after the next election
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 16 July 2009 at 14:06
I'm sure the public will soon forget Reg Varney and accept me as the new Stan Butler
Posted by: Lindsay | 16 July 2009 at 14:04
I didn't stop to pick up those two gentlemen at the bus stop because the Tabloids would have made it sound sordid
Posted by: Lindsay | 16 July 2009 at 14:03
You see, I have the public right behind me.
Posted by: chris nicholls | 16 July 2009 at 13:47
so far ive mowed down 3 dogs 2 children and one small cat called squishy, but im still smiling
Posted by: Euan | 16 July 2009 at 13:43
No, No, I'm not smiling for the camera's...I'm sitting on the gear stick!
Posted by: pugdog | 16 July 2009 at 13:26
Todays bus journey is FREE to all my passengers - I'll just claim it back on expenses and throw in a slap up meal just for the hell of it.
Posted by: Roadking | 16 July 2009 at 13:24
You people just do this all day? How quaint!
Posted by: RubyGottlob | 16 July 2009 at 13:20
Im smiling now but I will be laughing my head off when ANOTHER FOREIGN company makes MILLIONS out of YOU SUCKERS.
Posted by: YOU SUCKERS | 16 July 2009 at 13:18
Now who do you suppose we can sell this bus company to?
What about the Dutch in compensation for not getting the Royal Mail?
Posted by: Shafted Briton | 16 July 2009 at 12:54
No, no, no, Lord Mandelson – it stands for One-Man-Operated
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 16 July 2009 at 11:59
Lord Mandelson volunteered immediately when asked if he’d like a ride on Dennis
Posted by: Lindsay | 16 July 2009 at 11:50
As usual, Lord Mandelson goes for a spin
Posted by: Valérie Falconer | 16 July 2009 at 11:49
The heel on the bus goes round and round
Posted by: Rob of Wales | 16 July 2009 at 11:48