Hot Hot Hot!!!

by Greg McDonald

Phew! As sweating bookies slash the odds against the UK experiencing its highest ever temperatures, this week’s heatwave is surely a vision of Britain’s future, in which our tanned grandchildren buzz like noisy mosquitoes around the barbecue while we finish the Monday lunchtime siesta under a Yorkshire olive grove.

Of course we’ll bore them with stories about how there was once green grass in Hyde Park and nobody slept in the day, but they won’t really believe us.

For with global warming changing the face of the country irrevocably, these may be the last British summers as we’ve known them, the warm breeze blowing in a more European lifestyle of long summer evenings at pavement cafes, and changes to a historically reserved national character very much a creation of our climate.

A diverse bunch we may be these days, but while sun-kissed Roman Romeos have long wept to see Juliets depart, the British male has rarely fallen sobbing to his knees at Paddington station.

Indeed, Britain’s climate is changing so much that the Met Office has today delivered the first "heat health" warning, telling the more fragile of us to avoid doing anything too strenuous, take a break from outdoor work around midday and drink lots.

Lots of water, that is – in Britain’s burnt new world, such dehydrating Olde Worlde dangers as a pint of ale or an honest cuppa are off limits. Bring back the rain!

Comments

[Steve]

Never worry about the met office talking of heatwaves, they never happen, the met office always get the rain forecast right but never the sunny one, they are a complete waste of time.

[reggae]

I agree with acme, the best way to ensure that your point is felt is to make a copy and then you can always pop it back on again if it gets 'lost' or 'accidentally' deleted. It only takes a click:-)

[The Real Bogus Anon]

I feel really insulted that both BBC and ITV fell it necessary to stuff the breakfast programme with health advice about staying safe in the hot weather. Are we really that stupid that we need to be told to put sunscreen on and drink water.
It's amazing we don't all die on our annual 2 weeks in Spain.
Credit us with a little common sense.

[les lee]

whats the matter greg mcdonald?
the truth hurt your ego then so you had the posts deleted??
how pathetic !!

[Les]

1/4" of snow and we come to a standstill, it gets a bit hot and we've already got the numpties saying not to work outside at lunchtime! How does the rest of the world manage to cope with such extremities that even in their mildest form flatten us? Get on with it.