R u a noob?

by Greg McDonald

As the English language approaches the addition of its millionth word, the likely new entrant from the outmost intellectual frontier of dictionarial nascence couldn’t be more apt.

It’s “noob”.

If you’re encountering the term for the first time, a noob is someone rather like you – a newcomer who doesn’t quite understand what’s going on.

And you might want to keep your noob status hush or risk falling victim to word number one million and one, and finding yourself “defriended” - probly by yr m8s on Twitter.

While the expansion of our language should be cause for celebration, with the average English native’s vocabulary shrinking to just 14,000 words, if you thought English was ceasing to be spoken in England, you’d be right.

The internet and text speak – sorry, txt spk – have spawned such a revolution that today a teacher with 40 years’ classroom experience probably can’t decipher a note passed between six-year-olds.

Yet magnificent as our language may be, the truth is that all beautiful things end up as stuffy museum pieces, and the fate of the English you’re reading right now will be no different to the now indecipherable lines Chaucer wrote in the 14th century.

A few hundred years hence and teachers marking the “21st Century” module of the class of 2209’s English GCSEs will award a triple A-stars for grammar as they read: “Da English spk of da 2100s wz v dif frm 2day & can do in da hedz ov noobz”.

Comments

[les lee]

how about proclaiming all the present crop of infant and primary school teachers fall into this newly named category ?
as most level headed parents would agree it is without doubt these teachers that are instigating the worst drop in numeracy and literacy this country has ever seen ...... why ?...
because infants and junior children need the MOST experienced teachers not those that have just come through probably the worst training that any teachers have had in the last 60 years !!
no wonder that children can get a pass with 25% scores !!
it is mostly because their teachers probably passed their exams with the same level of competency .....
the minimum plausible pass mark for any subject should be 60% !!

[Carl]

"This originally was a word on xbox 360 I should know because i have been called that by a 10 year old on there , how it got into the world i won't know

Posted by: Joe | 08 May
"

Joe, this has been around for a lot longer. The word noob, or, rather, n00b, has been around for problably as long as the internet. It's certainly been around far longer than the Xbox 360. I first saw it being said online about eight years ago.

I'm somewhat surprised Mr. Greg McDonald has just come across it. Where have you been?

[Peter McKee]

CALL OF DUTY 4 NOOB!! HAHAHA

[Joe]

This originally was a word on xbox 360 I should know because i have been called that by a 10 year old on there , how it got into the world i won't know

[Bobby]

Y I Man!

[Siri]

I text a lot but use predictive. I like the challenge of composing succinct eloquent messages. I never shorten words. It's also spawned new phrases such as 'oldy foldy' (predictive's interpretation of okey dokey).

[les lee]

the entire lot of labour m,p,s are therefore noobs ....... if the definition is to be seen as the correct one !!
in fact the only labour man left with any credibility whatsoever is Tony Benn !

[englishman]

The great strength of the English language is its ability to evolve, taking in new words all the time. I do not like " text speak " at all, but I realise that it is inevitable that it will become acceptable as time passes. English has become the universal language that it is precisely because of this adaptability, in contrast to languages such as French, whose speakers in an attempt to keep it " pure " have made it become more and more archaic.

[Lexx]

People don't realise there are two different kinds of text speak. There are the idiots who write indecipherable crap, that is sometimes no easier or shorter to write than full english (for example, those who write woz instead of was should have their tongues cut out and fingers removed so they can't inflict their stupidy on the rest of the world), but there are also those who shorten words in ways that are easier to write and type and yet sound no different. And I see no problem with this. I ask you, hoestly, what is wrong with shortening the word "are" to "r"? Is there any difference at all in sound? No. Is it quicker and earier to write? Yes. And before anyone gives it the whole "it's ruining the English language" thing, we've been shortening our language for centuries. The "Full" English language as we know it now would leave the Englishman of 300 years or so ago scratching his head and thinking we're all uneducated idiots.