Where's Kerry, Mark?

Posted by Jane Murphy

Isn't it nice to see one of the hardest working men in showbiz getting a well-earned night off? (Sarcastic? Me?)

We're reliably informed by our paparazzi friends that Kerry Katona was at home, looking after her ever-growing brood, when this snap of husband Mark Croft was taken outside London's Movida nightclub at the weekend.

Two questions, then... Who's Mark's apparently amorous companion? And why doesn't he want to be photographed? Hmmm...

Pictures: Wenn

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Kerry pities Kylie

Posted by Jane Murphy

You'd think Kerry Katona would have enough problems of her own to worry about at the moment, wouldn't you? But she's still found time to express her sympathy for Kylie Minogue.

The reason? "It made me so sad when I read that Kylie's accepted she may never find a husband or start a family," Kerry writes in her OK! column. "Personally I think her problem was she always put her career ahead of her personal life. Don't get me wrong - she's done really well, but it's such a shame she didn't concentrate on family earlier because she'd make an amazing mum. I just hope she doesn't grow old and lonely."

So is Kerry right? Has Kylie got her priorities all wrong? Do you reckon the pop princess secretly wishes she was more like Ms Katona? Tell us what you think.

Picture: Wenn

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What next for Kerry?

Posted by Jane Murphy

So just in case you missed all the excitement over the weekend... Kerry Katona gave birth to a healthy 5lb 4oz baby boy on Friday, having gone into labour one month early.

And - joy of joys! - despite last week's reports she'd quit her MTV reality show, the former Atomic Kitten did allow the film crew into the maternity ward, so lucky viewers will be able to watch the birth later this month. Gosh - that's something to look forward to, isn't it?

Kerry and husband Mark Croft took baby Max home yesterday afternoon - and were greeted at the door by six-year-old Molly and five-year-old Lily-Sue, Kerry's daughters from her previous marriage to ex-Westlife star Brian McFadden.

"The girls are overjoyed to have a little brother and haven't stopped playing with him since he got home," a "close friend" told the tabloids. "But not surprisingly, Brian hasn't been in touch to wish Kerry well."

Still, who needs Brian when you've got a husband like Mark, eh? According to some reports, Kezza's doting husband was non-plussed when she first told him her waters had broken, and continued playing his Xbox game. "Truth is she's so used to it," Mark told the News of the World. "She's had loads of them, hasn't she?"

So now their MTV series is nearing its end and they've got their hands full with four children, is this the last we'll hear from Kerry and Mark? Tell us what you think the couple should do next.

Picture: Wenn

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Kerry to go topless?

Posted by Stewart Turner

Boys, who would you most like to see in the buff? Angelina Jolie? Cheryl Cole? Vanessa Feltz? Whatever… But we’d imagine self-styled queen of frozen sausage rolls Kerry Katona probably isn’t all that high on your list.

Well, regardless, today’s rumour mill has been busy grinding out the sordid news that Ms Katona could be eyeing up a return to her glamour modelling roots.

Kerry famously peeled off for Page 3 back when she was an innocent, 17-year-old slip of a girl, and reportedly looks back with fondness at those distant days holed in a damp photographic studio, being snapped with her boobs out by a greasy middle-aged man.

A well-informed source revealed all: "Kerry looks at her time as a glamour girl as the happiest she's ever been. All the boys fancied her and she felt a million dollars. She wants to transform herself and is determined to get in shape.

“She's going to have a bit of surgery on her boobs and has considered lipo too, but wants to try to shift the weight herself if she can."

So there you go. Consider this advance notice to start poking yourselves in the eyes with a rusty penknife.

Sources: Heat, Digital Spy

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Kerry Katona's 'blackmail'

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Cast your mind back to December – ah, such innocent times! – and you may vaguely remember John Dowd, a 49-year-old bus driver, popping up and claiming to be Kerry Katona’s long-lost father.

Apparently Mr D had hooked up with Kerry’s mum Susan back in 1979, a year before the star was born. “It's like everyone who she has been close to has let her down and exploited her,” he said. “Every time I look at poor Kerry my heart breaks.” Is there a sort of sick feeling in your stomach? We get that too!

Anyway, at the time, Kerry responded by agreeing to a DNA test. But now, it seems, things have changed slightly, with John getting a letter from Tina Flintoff, the exec producer of MTV’s Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love. It reads:

“Kerry would like to do a DNA test with you. However because we are filming the whole time we would like to capture this on camera.”

JD is stunned. “It’s like blackmail, it’s unbelievable,” he says. “They’re basically saying, ‘If you don’t do it on TV, then she won’t do it.’”

That’ll teach him to feel sorry for poor, exploited Kerry.

Sources: The Sun, Daily Mail
Picture: Rex

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Kerry says no to TV birth

Posted by Jane Murphy

Who says Kerry Katona has no shame? Despite her much-publicised money woes, the former Atomic Kitten has reportedly turned down a not-too-shabby £16,000 offer to give birth to her fourth child on TV.

Pregnant Kerry and husband Mark Croft are currently being followed around by a camera crew for an Osbournes-style reality show. But while we can look forward to plenty of exciting footage of the couple cleaning their fleet of cars, poking out their tongues at the paparazzi and loading up their trolley with frozen delicacies in Iceland, they've decided one area is very definitely off limits.

"There was no way Kerry was going to allow the cameras near the maternity ward," says a friend. "She says the birth is something private for her and Mark to enjoy and no amount of money was going to change that. She couldn't believe they were suggesting it." Quite right, too!

Picture: Big Pictures

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