"Hot bitches" wanted!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Please excuse the rather unsavoury headline on this blog. It's not my fault. It's Paris Hilton's.

As you may recall, everyone's favourite hotel heiress is set to follow in the illustrious footsteps of Kerry Katona, Jodie Marsh and Lisa Scott-Lee by getting her own MTV reality show. And casting has now got underway for I Wanna Be Paris Hilton's BFF - with all sorts of misguided fools interesting people clamouring for a chance to be mates with Ms H.

So what does it take to impress Paris? Apparently, you have to be a "hot bitch" or "fabulously fierce guy" who's at least 21 but looks under 30. "Are you sick and tired of envying social icons?" reads the casting call. "Will you be the next pop-arazzi obsession and quintessential star of the red carpet? Prove it, bitches!"

Er... I think I'll give that one a miss, actually. Anyone else tempted?

Picture: Rex Features

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Madonna moans about congestion charge

Posted by Stewart Turner

It seems nothing can dent Madonna’s determination to transform herself from sassy pop princess to whingeing white van woman. Now she’s been sticking her beak into the debate about London’s transport infrastructure.

Quite what a multi-millionaire who swans around our capital city in a chauffeur-driven limo knows about all this is anyone’s guess. Maybe she’s sick of handing Jeeves a tenner every time he enters the C-charging zone.

Displaying an amazing insight into the plight of our nation’s youth, Madonna told Q magazine: “I’d make it so that young musicians wouldn’t have to pay the congestion charge or taxes so they have more money for other things.”

Right on. Presumably young nurses or shop-workers would carry on paying the charge as normal?

Mrs Ritchie also said she won’t be voting for Ken Livingstone in the upcoming mayoral elections. “All Red Ken wants is roadworks everywhere”, she blathered. “I’ll just have to walk I guess.”

This, of course, is just the latest in a long line of Madge moans. She’s previously laid into our NHS hospitals (like she uses them), high fuel prices and traffic wardens. Give it another year and she’ll probably be presenting Top Gear.

What do you think? Does Madonna have a point or should she just belt up?

Source: Daily Mirror

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Jordan: We bicker about little things

Posted by Nicola Scholey

I always thought Peter Andre and Jordan were love's young dream but the model says she doesn't know what keeps them together - charming!

She says the pair are like many other married couples and bicker about the little things.

She told The Sun: "The main thing that annoys me about Pete is he goes on and on. It takes him ages to explain anything so I just cut in and finish the story for him.

"I'm not sure what keeps us together, I think he just likes my moaning - he must do! We fight about little things. Not 'I'll divorce you' arguments, just silly things."

Jordan, who plans to renew her wedding vows with Peter later this year, is also planning another party - her 30th. She says the bash will be bigger and more extravagant than her wedding - surely that's not possible.

She added: "It won't be exactly like the wedding but it'll still be huge. It's got a theme but I can't tell you what it is! Only I can get away with it, put it that way - very over-the-top."

We wouldn't expect anything less.

Source: The Sun

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Britney's TV role praised by critics

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Britney Spears' decision to appear in US sitcom How I Met Your Mother has apparently paid off, drawing praise from the critics and giving the show a big ratings boost.

Pulling in a hefty 10.67m viewers – the show's highest ever figures – the extended cameo saw La Spears playing a daft receptionist at a tattoo-removal surgery.

"Britney looked as adorable last night as she did waaay back when," said the New York Post’s Linda Stasi. “[She] appeared fresh-faced and relaxed, capably filling the small role,” intoned AP's Erin Carlson. And David Hinckley of the New York Daily News unintentionally delivered what some might have seen as a backhanded compliment, writing, “Spears proved she can act every bit as well as she can sing.”

Anyway, in case you missed it, here's a clip which combines all Britters' moments into one slightly confusing mulch.

While it’s probably safe to say she’s not the next Gielgud, Britney's ditzy perkiness is undeniably winning. What did you think?

Where’s Pete going?

Posted by Jane Murphy

We haven’t heard a lot from Pete Doherty recently - which can only be a good thing, we think you’ll agree. But then our eagle-eyed paparazzi mates spotted him calling round at a friend’s house in the early hours of this morning.

The friend in question? Amy Winehouse - who was doubtless thrilled to bits when she opened her front door to find Pete standing there with his guitar and notebook. Oooh - it’s enough to make your hair stand on end.

Pete’s visit topped off a busy day for Ms Winehouse, as she spent yesterday afternoon visiting husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison. Hmmm… I bet that was fun.

Anyway, Amy’s soundbite-friendly dad Mitch has voiced his concerns about his daughter’s friendship with Mr Doherty - but I think they could actually be quite good for one another. What do you think?

Picture: Big Pictures

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Paris's Africa gaffe

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Yes, it really is true: Paris Hilton has been spotted donning sensible outfits and visiting schoolchildren in South Africa. But why? Well apparently the heiress was in the country with new boyfriend Benji Madden because his band Good Charlotte were playing My Coke Fest (which isn't quite as rock and roll as it sounds – it's actually a music festival run by Coca Cola).

But if you’re afraid the old Paris has gone away forever, never fear – the 27-year-old managed to slip in a traditionally ditzy comment while she was over there. When asked what she thought of the place, she said: “I love Africa in general — South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”

Source: The Sun
Picture: PA

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Claudia's new look

Posted by Will Parkhouse

OK, so maybe it’s not a permanent new look – apparently that's a wig she's wearing for a New York shoot with designer Karl Lagerfield – but we can’t help thinking maybe Claudia Schiffer should ditch the tried and tested long blonde locks and go for a full-time dark crop – and so what if she totally nicked it off Katie Homes?

What do you think: should she keep her wig on - or return to her rightful hair?

Picture: Rex

Is Jen set to tell all?

Posted by Jane Murphy

I must admit I'd grown rather tired of celebrity autobiographies recently - particularly those self-indulgent tomes by reality TV stars and footballers' wives in their early twenties. I mean, why not live a little before putting pen to paper?

But now something's happened to renew my faith in tell-all books: Jennifer Aniston is reportedly writing her autobiography, and is set to lift the lid on her marriage break-up.

According to the Daily Star, the actress arranged an informal meeting with ex-husband Brad Pitt and his pregnant partner Angelina Jolie so she could discuss the potentially explosive chapter - but Brangelina made other plans at the last minute. Gosh - I wonder why...

"This book could ruin Angelina and Brad," says a (slightly melodramatic) insider. "Jen will prove the pen really is mightier than the sword."

So are you looking forward to getting your hands on Jen's book? And which other celebrities' life stories would you like to read? Tell us what you think.

Picture: PA

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Heather Mills gets her money. But the drama's not over yet

Posted by Michal Dzierza

The nation has breathed a sigh of relief. The Macca/Mucca saga is finally over. Or is it?

Heather Mills has today been awarded £24.3m, a nice chunk of Sir Paul McCartney's fortune, following their widely publicised divorce battle.

But just when you thought she was about to shut up for good and move to some warmer climates, Heather Mills announced she'd love to stay in the limelight for a wee bit longer.

She'll now be appealing over “confidentiality terms” after the judgment was made public.

Oh, the poor dear – just because we now know she'll get more than £16m in cash and the rest in assets? Take the money and run, love.

Of course you, dear reader, may be enjoying the saga immensely and might want to see yet more of Mucca over the next few months. What do you think?

Read more on the story >>

Discuss the story on our forums >>

Posh smiles!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Heavens to Betsy - there's something you don't see every day. In fact, we can't actually recall ever having seen a paparazzi shot of Victoria Beckham smiling.

So what was the occasion? Well, it probably won't surprise you to learn that Posh was out shopping in Beverly Hills when this snap was taken at the weekend. And you'll be even less shocked to know the smile came while she was in a swanky shoe store.

But Mrs B wasn't alone on her shopping trip: she also visited a toy shop with sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Still, now we've finally seen a picture of Posh smiling, it's set us thinking about other unlikely celebrity snaps we'd like to see. How about Paris Hilton standing at a bus stop? Sarah Harding looking graceful and demure as she leaves a nightclub? Or Chantelle Houghton wearing a lumberjack shirt and dungarees? Any other ideas?

Picture: Big Pictures

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Generation Paris?

Posted by Stewart Turner

Mothers – do you want your children to turn into Paris Hilton? No? Then it’s time to act fast.

A list of the 10 biggest celeb role models released today puts our Paris at a scarily respectable sixth place.

Does this mean making a smutty video should be on the school curriculum? How about marketing dodgy perfume, making poor pop records and driving offences? I think not.

Posh and Becks topped the list, with more than half of teachers saying schoolkids wanted to be like the showbiz couple. Keep on skipping the homework and I’m sure your dream can come true, kids.

Elsewhere on the list, David Tennant comes in at No.5 (I’d like to see the school careers adviser fielding enquiries about becoming a time lord). And the Sugababes – including the ever-charming Amelle Berrebah, of course  – make it to No.8.

Says shadow schools minister Nick Gibb, of the notoriously upstanding Tory party: “It tells you something about our schools when Paris Hilton is a role model, but  JK Rowling isn't.”

Tsk. I’m inclined to agree – when I was a kid, I just wanted to be a train driver. What is the world coming to?

So who do you think should be the perfect role model for our kids?

Source: The Sun

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What a Charley!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Every day - in a bid to bring you the latest hot-off-the-press celebrity news - we spend several long minutes sifting through the latest paparazzi pics to find out who's been out and about the night before. Most days, this involves looking at lots of photographs of former reality TV stars falling out of nightclubs.

But today I think the picture selection may have hit an all-time low. Because at 7.30am (while still eating my muesli, I hasten to add), I found myself looking at Charley Uchea's vomit. Yep, that's right: the Big Brother "star" threw up in a doorway after leaving London's Kabaret club in the early hours of this morning.

She also flashed her nipples and fell over before being literally loaded into a car and driven home by her best mate, X Factor reject CeCe. And then - presumably finding himself at a loose end following Charley's dramatic exit - one of the photographers took a snap of her sick, and sent it into his agency.

Do you ever feel life is passing us all by?

Picture: Big Pictures

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Chantelle v Preston

Posted by Jane Murphy

You know what? Maybe Chantelle Houghton and Preston were never really that suited to one another anyway. I mean, just look at these very different snaps of them, taken at the weekend.

First, there's a voluptuous Chantelle making her way home from yet another big night out at London's Embassy club. Slightly puzzled by what exactly is going on in the snap? Well, apparently, a drunk passer-by opened the car door and began hurling abuse at the Celebrity Big Brother star, but her ever-protective friends intervened and got rid of him.

Meanwhile, Preston showcased a possibly-not-so-hot new look while out on the streets of Brighton. That ensemble in full? Spotty skin, a beard, Deirdre Barlow-style specs and ruffled hair. But did he care? Did he hell!

So who's coping best with the aftermath of their divorce? Tell us what you think.

Pictures: Big Pictures, Wenn

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Rebecca Loos lets loose

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Sweet Jesus. Remember this?

Well here’s the bad news: some damn fool with no regard for health and sanity has leaked a song recorded two years ago by Rebecca Loos onto the internet. There’s no video, but you can listen below – at your peril, of course.

It’s called ‘Your Boyfriend’, which to us sounds suspiciously like a dig at Victoria Beckham. Loos today denied this was the case: "The song has nothing to do with the Beckhams at all,” she said. "I recorded it two years ago as a p***-take and it was never supposed to be released. Now it’s the most listened-to song on the internet. We haven’t got a clue how it’s ended up on the web - we’re trying to find out who leaked it.”

She added: “It’s not a dig at Victoria - I’d never, ever do that.”

Wouldn’t she? Thoughts below please.

Kerry Katona's 'blackmail'

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Cast your mind back to December – ah, such innocent times! – and you may vaguely remember John Dowd, a 49-year-old bus driver, popping up and claiming to be Kerry Katona’s long-lost father.

Apparently Mr D had hooked up with Kerry’s mum Susan back in 1979, a year before the star was born. “It's like everyone who she has been close to has let her down and exploited her,” he said. “Every time I look at poor Kerry my heart breaks.” Is there a sort of sick feeling in your stomach? We get that too!

Anyway, at the time, Kerry responded by agreeing to a DNA test. But now, it seems, things have changed slightly, with John getting a letter from Tina Flintoff, the exec producer of MTV’s Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love. It reads:

“Kerry would like to do a DNA test with you. However because we are filming the whole time we would like to capture this on camera.”

JD is stunned. “It’s like blackmail, it’s unbelievable,” he says. “They’re basically saying, ‘If you don’t do it on TV, then she won’t do it.’”

That’ll teach him to feel sorry for poor, exploited Kerry.

Sources: The Sun, Daily Mail
Picture: Rex

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Harry Potter’s SAS dog-walkers

Posted by Stewart Turner

The ongoing Daniel Radcliffe stalker story just gets more and more bizarre by the day.

Today’s Sun reveals that the bespectacled Harry Potter star has asked for a two-man SAS team to walk his beloved pair of dogs Binka and Nugget. The poor mite fears that his psychopathic stalker may plan to kidnap or kill his beloved pooch pals.

He’ll be demanding blue Smartie-flavoured Pedigree Chum and employing a couple of doggy masseuses next, no doubt.

The paper also reports that Daniel actually wanted FIFTEEN special agents to protect him – rather than the four he’s having to make do with currently.

Hmmm… what with all this, and reports that he’s started switching cars three times a night, we’re beginning to wonder if Danny isn’t beginning to enjoy all this a little bit. Isn’t he being, well, a little bit J.Lo about it all?

Source: The Sun

Picture: PA

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Licence to marry

Posted by Stewart Turner

The name’s Bond. Mrs Satsuki Bond.

Yes, it’s the news a million housewives never wanted to hear. Trunks-wearing 007 hunk Daniel Craig has confirmed that he’s set to marry long-term girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell after he’s finished filming the latest daftly-named Bond blockbuster Quantum of Solace. Pass those tissues, please.

A source said about the happy couple: “Daniel and Satsuki are so loved up. He asked her to marry him and she’s been showing off a very beautiful Cartier ring.”

We hope it’s a diamond ring. Diamonds are forever, after all. Presumably she wears it on her (gold)finger…

Hey, come back!

Source: The Sun

Picture: Rex

The greatest pay day of all

Posted by Stewart Turner

Remember last week’s jaw-dropping revelations that Amy Winehouse was set to pocket $1m for belting out a few tunes over in Paris?

Well, it seems everybody’s favourite soul legend/loose cannon Whitney Houston has gone one better: she’s just lined up a whopping £1.4m in exchange for an hour’s work at a charity bash this May. Not to be sniffed at, although knowing Whitney…

Whitney, now touted by some as “the old Leona Lewis”, has a tiny bit of a reputation. Aside from all those tales of what she liked to stuff up her nose and suchlike – all firmly in the past I’m sure – our Whitters has also earned herself a bit of a bad name for not turning up to gigs.

Somehow we think this is one show she might just get out of bed for.

The reason for the gig? Oh, it’s a benefit for a children’s charity, of course. The Cauldwell Children Legends Ball takes place at London’s Battersea Evolution arena on 8 May, with the masterplan being to “raise the profile of the Cauldwell Childen”.

Since a quick straw poll of the office reveals nobody even knows who the Cauldwell Children are, it looks like they’ve got their work cut out for them. Anyway, we reckon it’d be a lot less risky just to cut out the middle diva and bung the kiddies the cash direct – but that’s their prerogative.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Picture: PA

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Another shock for Lily

Posted by Jane Murphy

Oh dear - don't you just hate it when you leave the Groucho Club on a Monday night and discover someone's smashed the window of your brand new BMW?

Well, that's what happened to poor Lily Allen last night - and our photograph shows the exact moment she spotted what had happened. Still, Lily's showbiz pals rallied round - with one of them taking charge of the car, while the singer herself jumped into a taxi with T4 presenter Miquita Oliver and The Mighty Boosh's Noel Fielding.

And maybe things aren't so bad for Lily at the moment. One eagle-eyed photographer noticed she was sporting a ring on her engagement finger again - so her on-off relationship with Chemical Brother Ed Simons could be back on track. Or she may have just got engaged to Miquita Oliver or Noel Fielding. Who knows?

Picture: Wenn

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Danielle Lloyd's latest look

Posted by Stewart Turner

Here's a hot new look for uber-Wag Danielle Lloyd, "spotted" earlier today filming her documentary. Yes, her documentary.

Don't go taking a pair of scissors to your T-shirts all at once, now. Or stealing your mother's tea-cosy, for that matter.

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Picture: Big

Sarah hits the headlines

Posted by Jane Murphy

OK, who fancies playing a little game? All three red-top tabloids are covering the same story in their gossip columns today - and they've all opted for exactly the same headline. Let's see if you can guess what it is.

Ready? Notorious party animal Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud hit the town on Saturday night, sporting an eye-catching new curly hairstyle. I repeat: someone from Girls Aloud has now got curls. So what do you think that headline is?

Picture: Big Pictures

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