Chantelle is beyond parody

Posted by Will Parkhouse

[Splutters into tea.]

?!??!??!!

[Splutters into tea a second time.]

Everyone adores Phillip!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Well, who'd have thought it? Silver-haired smoothie Phillip Schofield has topped a poll of "men I secretly adore" - or Misas for short.

Dating Direct surveyed 5,000 women to uncover their unlikely crushes - and it seems we can't get enough of twinkly-eyed TV presenters. Other names who featured in the Top 10 included Gary Lineker, Terry Wogan and Bruce Forsyth (nice to see you there, Brucie).

For somewhat hard-to-fathom reasons, Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson was our third most popular secret crush - well, every girl loves a pompous, outspoken, sexist car fanatic, don't they? Oooh - I'm getting goose pimples just thinking about it...

So who's your unlikely celebrity crush? Share your secret with us.

Picture: Rex Features

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Paris goes day-glo

Posted by Will Parkhouse

At first I saw Paris Hilton’s newest costume and thought, “You purple trend-surfing Klaxons idiot.” But on reflection, I think she actually looks pretty cool. Not that I will be purchasing said outfit myself, you understand.

Picture: Big

Posh bares all

Posted by Will Parkhouse

Ooh, look, there’s something you don’t see every day. It’s Victoria Beckham with no clothes on! On a grey T-shirt!

Designer Marc Jacobs was the man who managed to persuade Posh to strip – and it’s for a good cause, what with it promoting skin cancer and that. Well, not promoting it exactly - you know what we mean.

“Since we have moved to California, I have realised how important it is to practise safe sun for myself and to keep the skin of my three boys well-protected as well,” said Mrs Beckham in an uncannily press release-esque fashion.

Luckily all T-shirts protect skin from the sun's UV rays – but if you want to save yourself in style, you can pick up one of these limited edition tees for around £18 from Marc Jacobs boutiques. Er, apparently there’s one in Mayfair.

Source: Daily Star
Picture: Robert Micra for Women's Wear Daily © Conde Nast Publications

SEE ALSO
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Should Cheryl dump Ashley?

Posted by Jane Murphy

Oh dear! Despite Cheryl Cole's pledges to stand by her man, the Girls Aloud star's relatives are reportedly urging her to dump husband Ashley after fresh tabloid allegations appeared about him over the weekend.

In yesterday's News of the World, Cheryl revealed she's known about Ash's "night of shame" for weeks - and although she's furious about his boozy shenanigans with 22-year-old hairdresser Aimee Walton, she doesn't believe he actually cheated on her.

The reason? She "knows for a fact" he "isn't capable when he's under the influence". She adds: "I was so angry, so frustrated that Ashley couldn't remember what on earth had gone on apart from him being sick."

The couple have apparently been locked in crisis talks all weekend - and are both determined to save their marriage. However, one relative told the Daily Mirror: "If he can't be trusted, she should walk away."

So should Cheryl really give her footie star husband the boot - or can they still make their marriage work? Tell us what you think.

Picture: Rex Features

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Oi! Chantelle! No!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Heavens to Betsy - what the hell's happened here? We like Chantelle Houghton, we really do - but we're far from impressed with her latest makeover.

While some celebrity-watchers have suggested she's gradually morphing into a carbon copy of old-style Jordan, these latest pictures show her looking more like a cross between Donatella Versace and Jodie Marsh. And we don't mean that in a good way.

The former Celebrity Big Brother star was happy to pout and pose for the paparazzi outside London's Chinawhite last night - employing her very best winking and waving skills before heading off in her chauffeur-driven car.

But should Chantelle tone down her act before it's too late? Or just ignore the critics and do whatever makes her feel good? Let us know what you think.

Picture: Wenn

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Heath Ledger found dead

Posted by Jane Murphy

Well, I really wish I could just prattle on about the latest ill-advised celebrity haircut or late-night liaison - but instead we're faced with the devastating news that Hollywood heartthrob Heath Ledger has died at the age of 28.

The Brokeback Mountain star's body was discovered by a housekeeper and masseuse in his rented New York apartment yesterday afternoon. It's not yet known how he died - but some reports suggest an accidental drug overdose may be to blame - prescription medication was found nearby.

Heath's heartbroken family have confirmed the death in an official statement, also adding: "Heath has touched so many people on so many different levels during his short life, but few had the pleasure of truly knowing him. He was a down-to-earth, generous, kind-hearted, life-loving and selfless individual who was extremely inspirational to many."

The actor also leaves behind two-year-old daughter Matilda, who is believed to be in Sweden with her mum, Heath's ex-partner Michelle Williams. A friend comments: "I can't believe Matilda is going to grow up without her dad - and that Michelle will have to deal with having a daughter who's lost her father. She's a survivor. She'll make it, but it's going to be hard."

Our thoughts are with all Heath's friends and family at this very sad time.

Picture: PA

In pics: Heath's life and career >>
Stars pay their tributes >>
More on this story >>
Forums: Heath Ledger's death >>

To download Heath Ledger film clips to your Orange mobile, text Heath Video to 247.

The world's ugliest footballer?

Posted by Jane Murphy

Now, that's not very nice is it? Poor Wayne Rooney is doubtless gurning in fury today after coming top in a poll of the world's worst-looking footie stars.

Over a third of the 2,500 women polled by a fantasy football website felt the Manchester United star was uglier than other allegedly not-so-hot contenders including Peter Crouch, Rio Ferdinand and Gary Neville.

"The survey shows money can't buy you looks, but money sure does help an ordinary guy get a good-looking girl," comments website spokesman Carl Christensen. Now, now, Carl - beauty's in the eye of the beholder, you know. Besides, we don't think you could ever accuse Wayne and co of being "ordinary"...

Picture: PA

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Tom's new rant

Posted by Jane Murphy

Those jaw-dropping Tom Cruise Scientology videos are coming thick and fast. The latest? The pint-sized A-lister dismisses psychiatry and claims Scientologists "have the ability to crush" drug companies.

"We actually have an easier time getting people off heroin and methadone than these psychiatric drugs," he claims. "I've worked very diligently to educate people about this.

"Oh, I'm going hard on those guys, and their reign... psychiatrists," the furious actor continues, staring intently into the camera. "I've had... I mean... I've absolutely had it. It's disgusting to me. No mercy. None. Psychiatry doesn't work. When you study the effects... it's a crime against humanity."

Oooh - I think I preferred you in Cocktail, Tom. But has Mr Cruise lost the plot? Is he dangerous? Or is he making a serious point? Tell us what you think.

Picture: Big Pictures

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Who's Kylie been Googling?

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Ooh, who’s Kylie got her eye on? The gorgeous popstrel has admitted she’s been checking out men she fancies – using the internet search engine Google.

“I can’t lie. I did it with a friend and she would out me (if I denied Googling.) I can’t tell you who (I Googled) though,” she giggled.

Gordon Smart, who writes The Sun’s Bizarre column, seems to think it might be Matthew Horne (of Catherine Tate Show fame). The pair met when they filmed The Kylie Show last November, and he’s admitted to sending her flowers and his phone number.

Being an A-list star herself, it’s more likely someone like George Clooney! But it’s still good to hear that this down-to-earth gal is just like the rest of us – Google is a useful tool, isn’t it?

Source: The Sun

Pete makes a fresh breast of it

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Pete Doherty’s often been photographed out and about with cuts and bruises and even the odd cold sore (yuck). And he’s still in the wars, but this time it’s not because of his unhealthy lifestyle – quite the opposite.

The poor bloke has been training so hard for the London Marathon that he’s suffering from “jogger’s nipple” – chafing from bouncing around in his shirts as he trains. Ouch!

His new girlfriend Portia Freeman has stepped in to save his aching moobs – by lending him one of her bras! Wow, that’s possibly the least rock ‘n’ roll thing in the world, ever. It really must be love, mustn’t it?

Source: Daily Star

Katie's figure - to diet for?

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Apparently, actress Katie Holmes is the talk of Hollywood after shedding a whopping three stone (where from? She wasn't exactly large to start off with) on a raw vegetable diet. A plethora of stars are said to be trying desperately to whittle themselves down to similar pencil-like proportions on her diet, which consists of - get this - a bowl of carrot soup for breakfast, followed by raw broccoli for lunch and dinner.

And that's pretty much it. "Obviously Katie has a small amount of protein with the broccoli such as steamed tofu, or fish, but the green superfood is the key," said a source.

Mmm, tasty. Is it really surprising she's lost weight? Sounds like the '"key" to her "amazing" weight loss isn't the "green superfood", it's the fact she's flippin' starving herself! Even by celebrity standards, this is a completely joyless diet.

Yeah, she looks good, but is it really worth it? Get a grip, Katie - and get a proper meal down you before you waste away!

Source: Daily Star

A Brit too much to bear

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Another day, another story about Britney – so apologies to those of you who’re sick of reading about the “troubled star.” The latest in the saga is that yesterday Britney was meant to attend a court hearing about the custody of her two sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. She’d been warned by her lawyers that if she didn’t show up, she risked being permanently banned from seeing her boys.

So did she show up? Of course she… didn’t. Her car turned up at the courtroom – a mere three hours late – but when she saw the press buzzing around outside, she shouted: “I’m scared. Stop it. Stop it. Just stop it!” Then she leapt straight back into her car, and went shopping and for Mexican food with lover Adnan Ghalib instead.

She also popped into a church, where she lit candles. A note left in the prayer box read: “Dear God, please give Britney her kids back.” Which would be poignant if it wasn’t so flippin’ stupid – if Britney can’t even be bothered to fight for her kids herself, why should she expect any divine entity to intervene on her behalf?

Later on in the evening, she and Adnan were spotted visiting four pharmacies, apparently in search of “something to make her feel better.” Perhaps she’d have felt better if she’d actually turned up in court and made an effort to show the world she’s a fit mother, instead of relying on narcotics to numb the pain of being a useless one.

Clearly, the woman has entirely lost her grasp on reality – if she ever had it – but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to feel any sympathy for her. She either doesn’t have a clue that she’s risking losing her boys for ever with her breathtakingly stupid and selfish behaviour, or she doesn’t care. Either way, it’s becoming overwhelming clear that her kids are in the best place for them right now – well away from their self-obsessed, spoilt, pill-popping mother.

SEE ALSO:
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Bjork gets violently snappy

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Temper temper, Bjork! The Icelandic singer is in trouble for assaulting a photographer – again – ripping the back right out of Glenn Jeffrey’s shirt when he tried to take a photo of her at New Zealand’s Auckland International airport.

"I took a couple of pictures and I got about three or four frames of her,” explains Glenn. “As I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy [that’s a polo neck, folks] and tore it down the back.

"As she did this she fell over, she fell to the ground. At no stage did I touch her or speak with her."

Bjork last attacked a photographer after a long-haul flight to Thailand in 1996. But without attention from the press, celebs wouldn’t be half as rich and famous as they are – the phrase “biting the hand that feeds you” springs to mind…

Source: nzherald.co.nz

Sharon goes girlie

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Word has reached us that actress Sharon Stone is apparently considering dating women, claiming (slightly bizarrely) that men "aren't masculine enough."

The 49-year old star says: "Everybody is bisexual to an extent. Now men act like women and it's difficult to have a relationship because I like men in that old-fashioned way. I like masculinity and, in truth, only women do that now. If you go on a date with a woman, they call and say: 'I'm going to pick you up at seven.' They take you somewhere great and you can dress like a chick."

Blimey! If one of the hottest women in the world can't get a straight date, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Source: Digital Spy

Amy's back to blonde

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Well, they say a change is as good as a rest - and that's some change Amy Winehouse has gone for! The star popped down to her local newsagents yesterday with her usual dark beehive bleached peroxide blonde and hidden under a headscarf.

We hate to say it, but - despite the usual thick slash of eyeliner and the punky tattoos - she looks more like a character from Last Of The Summer wine than a rock chick. Ah well, never mind Ames. You can always dye it back to black...

SEE ALSO:
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Is Britney's mum to blame?

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Simon Cowell has advised Britney Spears to drop her “stupid friends” and go back home to her mum. The pop mogul says of the star’s meltdown: “I said six months ago that she should go home….You’d be amazed – you live normally, and suddenly everything becomes normal. All that craziness, being followed around and all that stuff, it’s going to do your head in. But you can get away from it if you want to.”

Which is all well and good, Simon Cowell, until you consider that it was Mrs Spears Senior who first propelled the infant Britney into the limelight, and presumably hasn’t done too badly out of it all in the subsequent years. So far, she appears to have done very little to help her daughter.

True, Britney’s an adult and can do what she likes – but given the extent of her meltdown, it’s hard to believe her mum hasn’t intervened and dragged her into rehab, or at least given her a stern talking-to and said, “put a bra on before you go out, love.” While Britney’s still making headlines – and money – it seems that even the people who are meant to care about her are reluctant to get tough.

It’s also been reported that when Britney was hospitalised over the weekend, she spent two days jabbering away to doctors in a put-on Brummie accent, like her paparazzi boyfriend Adnan Ghalib’s. The girl needs help. Everybody seems to be offering their opinion on the subject, but nobody’s actually doing anything. Where the hell are her friends and family in all this?

Source: The Sun, Daily Star
Picture: PA/Rex

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Nicole's having a kid, man!

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

It won't come as a massive shock to regular readers of this blog, but Nicole Kidman has confirmed that she is expecting a baby with musician husband Keith Urban. The normally stick-thin actress has been spotted out and about with a little belly of late, setting tongues wagging, and now the actress's publicist Wendy Day has confirmed the rumours, adding: "The couple are thrilled."

The 40-year old actress has two adopted children, Isabella, 14, and Conor, 12, with ex-husband Tom Cruise. She was rumoured to have miscarried his child at around the time the couple split in 2001.

The early months of her 18-month marriage to Keith Urban were dogged with reports of his drink problem - but with all that behind them, this news is the best possible start to 2008. Congrats, Nicole and Keith!

Image: PA

SEE ALSO:
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B-LIMEy Posh!

Posted by Amanda Vlietstra

Posh is not exactly known for her subtle dress sense, but even by her standards, this is one attention-grabbing dress. Let's face it, in this bright lemon (or is it lime?) number, with matching shoes, she's probably visible from the Moon.

Contrary to what you might be thinking, she wasn't attending a nu-rave gig - she and hubby David were out for dinner at London eaterie St Alban. You've got to admire Victoria really - it shows real dedication to fame, sporting this skimpy little number without a coat in our good old British winter. Brrr!

But what do you think: does she look totally peachy in this frock - or a right lemon?

Picture: Big

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Vernon Kay's rubbish crusade

Posted by Helen Jennings

Vernon Kay is obsessed by litter, or so his wife Tess Daly claims. He hates it so much that he’s on a one-man-mission to Keep Britain Tidy.

“He always stops people in the street and makes them pick up the litter he’s seen them drop,” she told a magazine. “In fact, he recently bought a litter picker-upper from eBay.”

She’s not lying. Kay himself recently said: “I hate people who drop litter. I think people have forgotten that there's more than one person living in our society, it's not just them. I hate people throwing McDonald's cartons out of the car. It's horrible.”

So next time you contemplate discarding your empty crisp packet on the pavement, double check there isn’t a tall lanky TV presenter lurking behind you.

SEE ALSO:
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Picture: PA Photos

Leo’s new loo

Posted by Helen Jennings

Leonardo di Caprio has bought himself a new toilet. It’s not just any old privy, though – it’s a £1,600 remote-controlled superbog.

The Toto Neorest 500 warms the seat, which also automatically flips up when you approach and flips back down after you depart.

Not only that, the loo will wash and dry your nether regions for you, has a timer cleaning mode, a built-in deodoriser and uses water in an environmentally friendly manner.

Leo has had the wonder-throne installed in his Los Angeles home so he may never have to use an average Joe bog again.

Was it money well spent? Or cash flushed away? Share your views.

Picture: PA Photos

Britney's troubles

Posted by Will Parkhouse

“Gimme gimme more,” sang Britney Spears last year. And looking at the number of paparazzi and paramedics who swooped in on her Beverly Hills home last night, that’s exactly what she got.

Nine police vehicles, four news helicopters, three ambulances and about a million photographers. Oh, and two children. The fact that of all people, Kevin Federline seems to have become the main stabilising influence in the lives of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, shows how far down the line Britters has come.

With reports of drinking problems and the “unknown substances” of last night, has La Spears brought this on herself? Or would the mental stress of losing your kids while the whole world looks on bring anyone to their knees?

Picture: Rex

SEE ALSO
Britney hospitalised >>
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Suri's first film

Posted by Helen Jennings

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s baby girl may only be one and a bit years old but that hasn’t stopped a German film-maker offering Suri her debut acting job.

Producer Ash R Shah is making an animated movie about Knut the bear and wants the prodigal child to provide the voice. The polar bear has now become something of a celebrity since his mother rejected him at Berlin Zoo – and animal rights activists threatened to shoot him rather than have the orphan brought up by humans.

"With his friendly character, Knut serves as an ambassador for the Earth's problems – climate change and the melting polar ice caps. A movie about Knut would affect people all over the world,” says Shah, who has offered the zoo $5m for the film rights. "I see the heart-warming relationship between Knut and his caretaker at the centre of the movie. I want Suri Cruise to be the English voice of Knut."

So Suri won’t have to learn German? Oh well, it will be a doddle for the toddler then.

SEE ALSO:
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Picture: Wenn

Becks goes grey

Posted by Will Parkhouse

David Beckham has been in the papers this morning for doing what he does (second) best: flaunting a “controversial” hairdo.

Looking, as he does, like Amy Winehouse has sneezed on his head, Becks and his bleached coiff have come in for some criticism. The Sun, for example, compares the footballer to grumpy pensioner Victor Meldrew, suggesting he looks “more Oldenballs than Goldenballs”.

Can anything mar the legendary Beckham countenance? Or is this one haircut too far? Comments below please.

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Posh and Becks' hot shoot >>

Picture: Big