Who’s Jennifer (not) dating now?

Posted by Jane Murphy

Tsk! You know how Jennifer Aniston can’t stand next to a member of the opposite sex without the rumour mill going into overdrive? Well, now she’s even being romantically linked to men when she’s gone to great lengths not to stand next to them.

A rather windswept Jen was pictured at Heathrow yesterday - having arrived in Blighty on the same flight from Los Angeles as fellow Hollywood hottie Orlando Bloom.

The pair didn’t go through the airport together - but ended up getting into the same car outside Terminal 5. Cue plenty of “nudge-nudge, wink-wink” comments from the tabloids and various other celebrity-watchers.

But I should just add that Jen and Orly share the same management team - and their manager Aleen Keshishan was with them, too. Oh, and Orlando’s in a long-term relationship with Australian supermodel Miranda Kerr. Still, why let inconvenient little facts like that get in the way of a good rumour, eh?

I wonder why we’re all so obsessed with pairing Jen off with the first available - or unavailable - man? After all, other single celebrities' love lives don’t get quite this much attention. Any thoughts?

Pictures: Big Pictures

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Jodie’s back, back, back!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Readers, I’ve been growing increasingly concerned over recent months.

The reason? There haven’t been any new paparazzi shots of Jodie Marsh out partying since she posed with a python in a Dublin club back in June.

But at last! Jodie made a triumphant comeback at yesterday’s opening night party for the Heat Portrait Collection at the Brunswick Gallery in London.

The only problem? Her outfit - a midnight blue playsuit and slouchy grey boots - looks relatively normal. By Jodie’s standards, I mean. Still, we can always have a good ogle at her body art…

In the past, I’ve always been so mesmerised by the Michael Jackson, Buddy Holly and Little Richard tattoos on her left arm, I’d never really noticed this motorbike and road sign arrangement before…

In case you were wondering, the A127 cuts right through Essex from London to Southend. Everyone in the county has a similar tattoo. Possibly.

So what do you think of Jodie’s latest look? Tell us here.

Pictures: Big Pictures

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Piers tells Fry’s Twitter fans: ‘Get a life’

Posted by Jane Murphy

Twitter - a great way to keep in touch and informed about the day’s burning issues or “incomprehensibly dull drivel”?

Well, according to seasoned journo/talent show judge/ubiquitous irritant Piers Morgan, it’s the latter - at least where national treasure Stephen Fry’s much-touted Tweets are concerned.

Having previously described Stephen’s messages as “unutterably tedious”, Piers was roundly slammed by the star’s Twitter followers so decided to give him a second chance.

Piers told the Daily Mail: “Curious to see if I had misunderstood Mr Fry’s genius, I took another look at this week’s offerings. ‘A pleasingly quiet day. Well now dash it if the sun’s coming out, making a mockery of my layers, waterproofs and brolly. Tish.’

“Honestly, I’m not making this up. This is the kind of incomprehensibly dull drivel that Fry Tweets all day long. And there are now, unbelievably, over one million people ‘following’ him. What is the matter with you all? Get. A. Life.”

Hmmm… I do think Piers is missing the point here. Taking a few seconds out of your day to get a quick snapshot of somebody else’s life is no less dull or pointless than listening to the radio or eavesdropping on someone’s conversation on the bus.

It’s just another way to indulge our national nosiness - and you might just find out something useful or entertaining while you‘re at it.

And as an aside, may I suggest Mr Fry gets himself a pac-a-mac, so he can roll it up and put it in his bag when the sun comes out? Sorted!

So whose side are you on in the great Twitter debate? Tell us here.

Pictures: PA

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Kate and Pixie get leathered!

Posted by Jane Murphy

News just in - Kate Moss has joined Take That!

Oh, I do apologise. That sentence should have read: Kate Moss joined Take That and a bunch of slightly less exciting stars for last night’s karaoke party to mark the launch of the boy band’s new PlayStation SingStar game.

Kate’s outfit? A leather mini, leather-trimmed jacket and flat black pumps. And her hair? A very loose ponytail…

Like it?

Meanwhile, fellow Take That fan (who knew?) Pixie Geldof also went hell for leather while she worked her favourite poses for the cameras…

(Presumably the paparazzi hadn’t spotted Kate at this point.)

And how’s this for a party outfit from singer Paloma Faith?

I must admit I’ve tended to overlook Paloma in favour of other eccentric dressers such as Rihanna and Lady GaGa. But not any more! After this “Nanna’s nightie and dressing gown” effort, I promise to keep a closer eye on her from now on.

And finally, do spare a thought for Kate Nash, who presumably got a tad distracted halfway through putting her lippy on…

I think this look is called the “Hitler ‘tache effect”. I can’t really see it catching on - can you?

Pictures: Wenn, PA

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Is ‘Brand Jordan’ on the slide?

Posted by Jane Murphy

Despite branding herself a “twit” and apologising to the nation for anything she may have done to upset us, Katie Price still seems to be Public Enemy No.1 as far as the tabloid press are concerned.

The latest? The Daily Mirror has carried out an investigation into the glamour girl’s £30m business empire - and concluded that Brand Jordan may be in serious trouble.

Apparently, shoppers are snubbing Katie’s range of books, perfume, bedding and equestrian gear.

One of her children’s books - Mermaids and Pirates All Around - has sold just 19 copies since April. Her bed linen collection has been dropped from several large stores. And her signature scent - Stunning - is selling “very, very badly”, according to a spokesperson for a major high-street chain.

Still, I doubt many of these Katie-endorsed products were supposed to be long-term sellers. I’ve always assumed the OTT launch parties and book-signing tours were more about selling Katie herself. As long as she gets her picture in the papers, her profile remains sky-high. Job done!

Be honest: have you ever been tempted to buy anything from Katie’s many product ranges? And how would you feel if you wandered into a friend’s bedroom and noticed they had a Katie Price duvet cover? Tell us here.

Picture: PA

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Kelly Brook is caught short!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Hmmm… I wouldn’t have said it was quite the weather for shorts at the moment, but Kelly Brook clearly decided to give them a go anyway.

The actress - who turned 30 earlier this week, birthday fans - teamed denim shorts with a huge cream scarf, woolly cardigan, leather gloves, thick tights and shoe-boots on her way home from last night’s performance of Calendar Girls.

Because it’s Kelly, the look just about works. But I’m not convinced I could carry it off on a cold night in Penge. How about you?

Pictures: Wenn

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Posh voted ‘unhealthiest role model’

Posted by Jane Murphy

Surprise, surprise! Victoria Beckham has come in for yet more unsolicited criticism for her skinny frame.

The latest? Mrs B’s been voted the most unhealthy celebrity role model of the past half-century in a survey of more than 50 fitness experts.

“She’s taken calorie restriction to new extremes,” says personal trainer Ged Musto. “Her size is achieved by lack of nutrients and too much exercising. She’s a poor role model.”

Now, I’m not saying Posh isn’t eye-poppingly skinny - but I do think some of this criticism is a tad unfair. After all, how does anyone know exactly what she eats - or whether or not she’s naturally slim? At least she doesn’t set a bad example by taking drugs, smoking or regularly drinking to excess

In other news, Kylie Minogue was named the healthiest role model.

How so? “She never has that grey and haggard look you get if you don’t eat enough,” comments one fitness guru. Er… couldn’t that just be down to make-up?

So is Posh really such a bad role model? And is Kylie definitely the healthiest? Tell us what you think.

Pictures: PA

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Cross-dressing - it’s the new black!

Posted by Jane Murphy

Alex Reid may be out of the country at the moment - but he can rest assured other tabloid-tastic celebrities have been more than happy to fly the flag for cross-dressers in his absence.

Last night saw The Mighty Boosh’s Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt get all dolled up in party frocks and fright-wigs for a performance at a star-studded fashion bash.

The occasion? The switching-on of the Christmas lights at Stella McCartney’s London store. How exciting!

Noel certainly entered into the festive spirit - working a look that was a little bit “Alice Cooper lets rip” and a little bit “Vera Duckworth has one too many at the 1986 Underworld Christmas party”…

And everyone else? Er… they all followed Stella’s example and wore boring old black.

Sombrely dressed guests included too-cool-for-school football royalty Jamie and Louise Redknapp…

 
…and M&S supermodel Twiggy with her daughter Carly Lawson…

Personally I prefer Noel and Julian’s old-lady frocks - don’t you?

Pictures: PA

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What will Katie do next?

Posted by Stewart Turner

Katie Price is a notoriously shrewd businesswoman, as her ability to shift anything from rancid-smelling perfumes to shocking pink equestrian wear demonstrates. But her decision to head back into the jungle for this year’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! may well turn out to have been the worst decision she’s ever made.

If Katie thought all she had to do to rescue her battered reputation was take a few showers in a barely-there bikini, she was very much mistaken. If anything, her week from hell – during which she’s been made to crawl through rat-infested tunnels and eaten close to her own weight in insects – may indicate that the Great British Public’s love affair with the artist formerly known as Jordan is well and truly over.

What next for Jedward?

Posted by Jane Murphy

No! No! Noooooo! After two long months of Jedmania, everyone’s favourite rapping-and-jumping twins John & Edward have been cruelly voted off The X Factor in favour of contestants who can actually hold a tune. Honestly - what is the world coming to?

Still, don’t despair: this isn’t the end for Jedward. Far from it. Indeed, when I first glanced at this hastily rushed-out Conservative Party handout, I thought they may be set to pursue a career in politics…

Laugh? I thought I’d never start.

But what should the real Jedward do now? During an interview on GMTV this morning, the pair insisted they’re “up for anything” - and would even consider going into I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! to replace Katie Price.

Other suggestions being bandied around? The phrase “children’s TV presenters” has come up quite a lot - while the twins’ mentor Louis Walsh thinks they should sign up for panto. (Oh no they shouldn’t!)

Oh, and rent-a-quote PR guru Max Clifford reckons the twins could soon be millionaires. “They could make £2m a year,” he told The Times. “They should be kids’ TV presenters, like a junior Ant and Dec. They can bring records out on the back of that. They should also look at kids’ toys.”

Hmmm… personally I think Butlins beckons for Jedward. And possibly a guest appearance on Hole in the Wall.

Got any better ideas? Tell us here.

Pictures: PA, Rex Features

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