And so it begins...
Posted by Will Parkhouse
Wow, at last, we're nearly there. After what feels like months of Daily Star headlines announcing yet another Big Brother rumour (Nymphos! Lesbians! Muslims!), the time has finally come.
Even though I'm sitting alone in an empty office, with only a hoovering man, a big TV and a packet of Fruit Pastilles to keep me company, I can feel the crackle of excitement in the air. No, really. Anyway, I'll be delivering my initial impressions of the new housemates the second (give or take a few milliseconds) they step out of that limo. So here goes...
Quick disclaimer: These are first impressions only. So if the housemate I inevitably describe as "a screeching idiot in underpants" turns out to be a chess Grandmaster with five PhDs, please feel free to cut me some slack.
A thought... There's still a chance of salvation. The Apprentice is just starting over on BBC1. Could just watch that instead. Nope, too late, it's starting. Davina's having spasms of excitement already.
And... Davina’s just rubbished some of those rumours that were floating about. Apparently there won’t be a gay marriage, one of the housemates hasn’t gone missing and they won’t be blowing up the house with dynamite on Friday. Ah well.
The house tour: Well we'd all seen the pictures, but there are a few weird extras, including a ridiculously large bed, the bath in the lounge and some natty salon-style hair dryers. But the best is the diary room. Man, that diary room is insane. All flashing lights and neon tubes, it looks like the cover of the new Arcade Fire album. Crazy.
The first and second housemates: Sam and Amanda (left)
Okay, so wasn't expecting that. Twins. Both 18 (er, obviously), they apparently like shopping and pink things and don't like "dictionary language". Both seem pretty delighted that the house has pink stuff in it. They are shrieking a lot. And people are booing already!
The third housemate: Lesley
A 60-year-old retired headhunter who "doesn't mess people about" and has "terrible temper tantrums". About as far you can get from Sam and Amanda, she has something of the Anne Robinson about her... Although I bet she's got a heart of gold really.
The fourth housemate: Charley
"I love money," says the next housemate, 21-year-old Charley from south-east London. She looks like an R&B star. "I'm flirtatious and I'm hot," she adds. And not so modest, it seems. Are they going to put any boys in the house?
The fifth housemate: Tracey
Oops, I thought this one was a man when I saw her, despite the name. She's 36, a cleaner and one of those hippy-types who wears multi-coloured woolen clothes and admits to hanging out in fields. “I’m a cleaner. I love the Hoover, I love the polish,” she says. Maybe she could come and clean my desk - the Fruit Pastille wrapping is piling up like no one's business. Anyway, the crowd are loving her.
The sixth housemate: Chanelle
“I’ve based my image on Victoria Beckham,” says the 19-year-old student from Wakefield.
Yes you have. Chanelle looks like her idol in that she’s wearing the same clothes and has the same hair. But she doesn't really look like her, really.
Probably the first “normal” one of the bunch, Victoria stuff aside.
The seventh housemate: Shabnam
Next up is "Shabs", as we'll all be calling her by Friday. She's working the crowd a bit and they're responding, which bodes well. Despite being "passionate about make-up", she claims to talk a lot of sense. We'll believe that when we hear it.
The eighth housemate: Emily (right)
The slightly posh one, although they've probably built this up just because she votes Tory and went to a dentist once. She claims to be "an indie rock and roll queen". Which probably means she went to an Oasis gig once.
Half time? Are they not going to put any boys in? I'm fine with that, but, like, what's going on?
The ninth housemate: Laura
Nope, another girl. No offence to any Welsh people reading, but I really can’t understand what she’s saying.
I just heard something about death, squash and smoking. Davina says she wants to train as an embalmer. That's Laura, not Davina. Apparently she's scared of silence and her favourite word is “because”. Kooky, then.
The tenth housemate: Nicky
Interesting! Twenty-seven-year-old Nicky, whose job is doing admin for a bank, likes cigarettes and electro music! She has an Irish mother and an Indian father (or was it the other way round?) and comes out with quote of the evening so far: "Men – ugh, gross. Nasty little creatures."
The eleventh housemate: Carole
A bisexual health worker and anti-war campaigner, 53-year-old Carole is apparently going to shake things up in the house. In fact, she says, "They will be shaken s***less." Ha, ha, ha. She stood for the Respect Party in the local elections. Is she actually George Galloway in disguise?
And, shockingly, that's your lot. As you've probably worked out by now, there will be no men going in today - the big twist is that just one guy will enter the house on Friday. I can't quite decide whether I should envy or pity him. Either way, BB has confounded us all again.
yaaayy Brian won !!!!!
But i missed da final ):
Posted by: cheekymonkey | 04 September 2007 at 20:26
i liked carol at first but nowb i don't, twins to win they're gr8t or brian he wierd.
Posted by: fat face | 31 August 2007 at 19:32
hiaa well i lovee the twins they are gunna win big brother is mint i watcht it every night but i dont like amanda with brian i think she shud goo with liam i wud lv too se that. n yaz r proppa weired 4 slagging tha housem8s off on an email omg ,xxxx
Posted by: sarah | 31 August 2007 at 11:05
I want the twins to win they are the most genuine people in the house and havent had a arguement once
TWINS TO WIN!!!!!!!
Posted by: becky | 31 August 2007 at 09:32
Omgg the twins are soo funnyy TWINS OR CAROLE OR LIAM TO WIN! brians a follower
Posted by: Lozzah | 25 August 2007 at 10:59
Laura does my head in. She and Charley are the most 2 faced people in that house
Posted by: Trickster | 13 June 2007 at 12:48
Does anyone out there remember a kids T.V show from the 80's called Chorlton and the Wheelies?
Maybe it's just me but I think Tracy is the spitting image of Fenella the witch!
Another candidate for 'seperated at birth' perhaps.
Posted by: kez | 13 June 2007 at 12:41
CHARLEY OR SHABZ 2 WIN!!! there both real and charleys such entertainment!!she may be annoying to live wid but we're only watchin her and we need the house to be exciting!!!
i dont know why people like the twins so much!! they are boring and immature!!! they need to start actin their age( their proper bimbos aswell)
i hpe people dont vote out the interesting ones like they normally do coz it'll just end up being really dull!!! (no wonder they had to put nikki back in last year it woz soo0 boring!!)
CHARLEY 2 WIN
Posted by: aleesha | 09 June 2007 at 15:12
OMG
Sooo glad emily's left da house she was sooo stuck up.
chanelle and ziggy should get toghter they mke a wicked couple.
ENJOY BB SO GD HOPE THERES SOME GD LADS GOING IN 2NITE
Tracy is wiked :O she reminds me of pete!
Posted by: Naomi and Laura | 08 June 2007 at 19:51
hey all 2 tell you the truth this years big brother is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring no entertainment at all
Posted by: amanda bloom | 07 June 2007 at 17:27
Its the last series all over again - emilys getting kicked out. i just read this that happened this morning http://www.borkowski.co.uk/archives/mark/004594.html .So much for being "the slightly posh one"!!
Posted by: Rach | 07 June 2007 at 12:56
HAHA I agree with everyone about charley....she really has got a face like a bulldog!!!
But wait....in all ov Charleys ugliness....every1 cant see shobKNOB.....shes a out and out tranny.....does any1 else see it?!?!
As for the twins....they not as bad as everyones making out....they r 18 and excited!!
Carole is a pure legend :D!!
Lesley get back 2 ya open fire with a blanket over your knees a cup of cocco and countdown on the tele pet :P
Laura you little star =D REAL women have curves!!!
Chanelle...a few words of advice for u....."U WHERE BORN A ORIGINAL...DON'T DIE A FAKE!!!"
Tracey....off her bubbies...but another legend!!
Nicky and Emily ...seem a bit quiet but seem like nice lasses =D!
And Ziggy ....no comment! But not the sorta man i'd go for :P!!
REMEMBER KIDS....BIG BROTHER IS ALWAYS WATCHING ;)
Posted by: VODKA_LUVAAA | 05 June 2007 at 16:57
Lesley wants to leave BB after only a few days. Why the hell did BB put her in the house in the first place. Lesley obviously flew through the audition and BB picked her out of the thousands that applied. Why Lesley, what has she bought into the house! She hasn't even got a personality. I am sure BB cud av picked someone much more entertaining such as a stuffed rabbit.
Posted by: Jue | 05 June 2007 at 09:32
i take back everything i thought about the twins. after wathing last night they're like little angels next to charley. what a silly bitch who does she think she is??? get her out a.s.a.p
Posted by: sally | 04 June 2007 at 11:46
Split the twins up to amanda or sam to go first for a bit of entertainment see if they really cant live without eachother
Posted by: ben | 04 June 2007 at 11:18
Cant stand Charley never make it into the celeb world loves her self to much - laura or carole to win!!
Posted by: ben | 04 June 2007 at 11:14
I think Charley will get a real wake up call when she is booted out and booed by the crowd. Someone should tell her that she is stuck up her own ****! I'm sure her Manchester United cousin is hanging his head in shame. Any ex footballer one night stands of Charley should beware
Posted by: Jennifer | 04 June 2007 at 10:47
wat is that leslie she is a boring bitch she does my head in so much and that tracey a freak get them out !!! and i liked charley at first ang all she does now is cry boring!!! ziggy ok looking but they all like a pack of hound dogs around him sad i like laura and carol at the min x
Posted by: becky | 04 June 2007 at 09:04
Oh come on BB, can we please have some really interesting people in the house. It seems that you just copy the same characters every year now! I used to be hooked every night but this bunch are just a load of self absorbed air heads with the exception of a few. I should have gone in that house cause the first thing I would have done was put a nice big fat sock into each stupid screaming mouths! I find it hard to believe that those twins will get through life, can they really be that thick??
Posted by: Suzy | 03 June 2007 at 22:24
I pray to God that Charly doesn't win- she'll probably just waste the winnings on a boob job or something stupid like that. Charly just get a job!
Oh yeah and Sam&Amanda "hate chavs". Someone should really break the news to them.
Posted by: Mia | 03 June 2007 at 21:56
IS IT JUST ME OR IS TRACY A MAN IN DISGUISE! EEURGH I CANT STAND HER(OR HIM)
Posted by: CLAIRE | 03 June 2007 at 19:18
Tracy is refreshingly interesting. She is hillarious and I love her mannerisms followed by "deual wiv it" She is in another world to some of the other screaming, screeching self obsessed ....blah blah blah.S0000 DID THEY FIND ANYTHING IN THE CIGGIES.....Guess what sweethearts tracy lives in genuine fairyland. TRACY TO WIN
Posted by: louise | 03 June 2007 at 18:58
get a life big bro viewers!!
Posted by: gary | 02 June 2007 at 15:02
I Like Emily I think she is smart and cool. I like chanelle and laura. I cant stand any other house mates lesly is so stuck up, charley just loves her self, shabnam cant help acting like a freak, Tracey is ok but a bit creepy :S ...... the twins are so stupid its unbelieveible .lol. EMILY TO WIN
Posted by: Summer | 02 June 2007 at 12:02
Lesley has all the qualities about her that I don't like in a person. "I don't do anything domestic." - But, compared to the rest of them in there, well with the exception of Carol, she doesn't seem all too bad. Reading her bio, she's not the type who I expect to enter the house, but that's just me being stereotypical again *sigh*.
Posted by: Tommy | 02 June 2007 at 10:30