Sree - get out!

Posted by Dan Curley

When Big Brother asked Sree what he thought his chances of surviving the eviction were a couple of days ago, he said: “200%!” But tonight, the only two large things he got were two gigantic fingers from the public telling him exactly where to go. Sree has been slung into the BB skip, where we have no doubt he’ll be looking for bits of wood to put together so he can assemble a pole vault, allowing him to fly back into the house to further sex-pest Noirin.

He was an excruciating contestant to watch for pretty much all of his time in the house. Possessing less sexual awareness than a heroin addicted weasel, he spent his entire time scurrying after Irish beauty Noirin in such a creepy fashion that it made us want to rip out our own teeth and use them to chew our own eyeballs to bits. A man clearly with no plutonic female friends, we wouldn’t be surprised if the only woman he knows in the outside world is the one who spat him onto it.

Sree’s last show was not an uneventful hour - his feud with Marcus transcended from heated into a full-blown Chernobyl meltdown. Ignited by Marcus putting on an Indian accent in a scene that smacked of Jade Goody’s (RIP) run in with Shilpa Shetty, this escalated to Marcus pretty much threatening him: “Why don’t you come over here and make me shut up? Don’t say a single thing inside here - let’s see if you’re so brave outside!” Marcus – you’re a bad, angry and ill-conceived bloke, and we hope you’re next out so you can dust off with Sree. Providing Sree can have a baseball bat with nails in it - it could be good fight.

Sree walked into the most volatile volley of boos in recent Big Brother history, and things got worse as he walked down the ramp only to meet Kelly Osbourne, who according to Davina is a “Big Brother expert and fan”.

The virtuoso didn’t fail to impress with her BB wizardry: “Which one’s Marcus?” and “Noisine, Narine, what’s she called again?” were two of her expert contributions. Please leave our TVs alone, Kelly, and go and get job.

When Davina quizzed Sree if he really was in love with Noirin: “No, not at all.” So that’s the end of that then. The whirlwind stalk-mance is over.

Goodbye Sree. And if you ever find yourself around our way – leave, or we’ll get a court injunction against you AND release the hounds.

Next: Big Brother 10 body lingo special >>
Next: What next for Freddie? >>

Freddie vs Sree - Eviction Prediction

Posted by Dan Curley

Only a foolish soul would place money on sleaze-dog Sree surviving tonight’s eviction battle against Freddie aka Halfwit. In fact it would be a gambling endeavour almost as idiotic as playing Russian Roulette with an Uzi and offering to go first.

A glance at the odds the bookies are offering just about says it all. Halfwit is not only favourite to survive but is outright favourite to win the whole thing, with odds hovering around the 2/1 mark. Sree, on the other hand, has odds of 1/239 in some camps. Fancy a flutter on the irritant? Buy a lottery ticket – you’ve more chance of winning (and you’ll get millions instead of £239).

It’s not just that Freddie’s already survived eviction bouts against Sophia, Cairon and Angel (making him astonishingly battle-hardened), it’s mainly that Sree is a creepy little so-and-so who leaches around the house like an adopted stray dog who just wants to have sex with women’s legs.

His horrifying sex-pestering of Noirin will earn Sree countless phone calls to get him slung out with the BB rubbish – and we wouldn’t be surprised if some people have called 999. His tragically transparent game-playing (remember his pathetic tears in the Diary Room near the start when he was a non-housemate? Boo-hoo!) and to top it off, there’s his crap “look at me!” clownery during every task (although to be fair, all the housemates are a bit guilty of that).

All these things have led him into tonight’s firing line. And he will get shot – in the head. Come back at 11.30pm tonight for the inevitable result…

Next: The Big Brother 10 homepage >>

Angel is evicted

Posted by Tim Carson

No surprises with the fourth eviction with Angel being dealt a knock-out blow by the undisputed champion of eviction nights - Halfwit Freddie.

The Russian boxer took the news and then the boos on the chin as she made her way out of the house to be met by Davina.

Halfwit smiled at surviving yet again. As Noirin said: "You're like a cockroach." And she meant that as a compliment.

Having gone a few rounds with the crowd Angel was dragged up for a good pummelling by Davina and er, Anthea Turner!

Surprisingly Anthea landed a good blow straightaway calling Angel "mad" but "great TV". Well, it's lovely to meet you too Anthea!

Angel naturally seemed a little down post-eviction and admitted she felt she had failed in her mission - which wasn't as a Big Brother plant as some rumours suggested - but to spread her message of exercise.

It was one of the things that hadn't endeared the fitness fanatic to the rest of the house as she even told Noirin that she looked "three months pregnant" - which in anybody's world is an unusual tactic in trying to win over the woman you love.

But then again Angel has a fairly unusual approach to most things, sucking on raw eggs, not celebrating birthdays as "I don't want to get older", drinking water from pasta and snogging Freddie! That, of course, convinced Freddie that she fancied him, something she denied to Davina. Although she did admit: "I fancies his brain. I could sit and listen to him with my mouth open." Couldn't we all.

She also told us: "I will kill for art. If you cut me I have paint not blood." And that: "I try not to smile after 8 o'clock! Power to stay beautiful. People won't remember what you say just what you look like."

Well. I think there's no doubt we'll definitely remember what she looks like!

Freddie vs Angel

Posted by Dan Curley

They say whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. If this is true, then Freddie "Halfwit" will wake up tomorrow virtually invincible. Tonight will see him having to deal with the agonising stress of waiting to hear Davina call out either his name - or that of another housemate.

Having already dispatched the tiny terror Sophia and cocky American Cairon, he's facing a bout against Russian "boxer" Angel, a fitness freak who could be related to Rocky IV's villain Ivan Drago. We're not expecting a close call here for two reasons.

1). Angel's been having a go at all the other female housemates about their weight. And there's nothing that gets on people's nerves more than a neurotic fitness fanatic picking at other's minor imperfections. The female voting mass will not only want to ring the phone to get her out they'll want to ring her blooming neck! Expect boos a plenty.

2). BB history has proved that whoever the housemates keep nominating for eviction near the start always seems to survive to the very end. Ulrika Jonsson being the most recent example in this year's Celebrity Big Brother.

We can't deny we're not Halfwit's biggest fans, but as Kris wisely pointed out the other day: "He's not nasty, and I can't use words like d*** to describe him, he's just a bit of a pleb."

Cairon evicted!

Posted by Dan Curley

Judge British Public has made its decision - Halfwit was the lesser of two evils and Cairon has been slung onto the Big Brother slag heap.
 
His swaggering American-teen bombast showed promise at first, but the 18-year-old student brought less substance to the table than one of Angel's water bowl meals. In his final show, he said in the diary room: "At the end of the day you gotta be true to yourself and if you ain't that - you're nuffin’."
 
Sage counsel, Cairon, but if you're true to yourself AND nuffin', you end up with the same result - nuffin'.
 
We were hoping for another Coolio monolith who’d specialise in badgering the other housemates with domineering menace. But all we got was a moody kid, a stretched version of Arnold Jackson from Different Strokes "Whatchoo talkin' about Big Brother!?".
  
He was bombarded with the boos as Dav’ shrewdly noticed: “Look at him, Cairon is gutted.” He tried to rub it off in the interview, saying he was tired.

We have no doubt - he slept so much we're surprised he wasn't brought out of the house on a stretcher.
 
Tatty-bye Cairon!

More on Big Brother 10 >>

Freddie vs Cairon

It's judgement day again - the housemates were woken by chiming bells on Friday to mark this evening's eviction.

Freddie (left) and Cairon face the public vote after receiving the most votes in this week's nominations. Cairon was obviously feeling the pressure leading up to the impending eviction - he dashed straight to the toilet when he woke up.

Oxford graduate Freddie was more dignified in his worry over tonight's live show, heading to the Diary Room to talk to Big Brother. But the pair weren't the only ones who vented their frustrations this morning.

Karly, who was kept awake most of the night, snapped, "I'm not happy!" And Kris, who shared a bed with camp Charlie, also had a sleepless night.

The mop-topped one confessed to the Geordie, "I hit you twice. You were snoring. You were on your back and you were snoring. It was like five or six o'clock. You stopped for a split second and then I did it three times and you shifted on to your side."

At least one housemate won't have to worry about strange alarm calls for much longer - Freddie or Cairon will be spending tonight in a bedroom on their own after one of them is given the boot!

Who do you think should go?

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Sophia is evicted!

Posted by Jane Murphy

She’s out! As predicted by just about anyone who gives a monkey’s about this kind of thing, Sophia has been evicted from the Big Brother house. And having now watched footage of the bigmouth banker squabbling with Saffia yesterday afternoon, I can understand why the latter decided to leave the house last night.

Still, surely it would have been a much better idea if everyone else had walked out and left Sophia behind to continue picking arguments in an empty house. She could have spent all day standing in front of a mirror shouting insults at her reflection - a bit like Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, only with more lip gloss.

Anyway, I digress… Needless to say, Sophia left the house to a cacophony of boos - and responded with cackling laughter before being led off to her post-eviction chummy chat interrogation with Davina, comedian Dom Joly and behaviour expert Judi James.

But as so often happens on these occasions, Sophia appeared to undergo a personality transplant as soon as she became an ex-housemate - and seemed almost likeable.

In a nutshell? She respects the public’s decision to evict her, she didn’t realise she was “coming across as aggressive” and she doesn’t really have any regrets because she was just “being myself”. “If I do something, it’s genuine,” she insisted, when asked why she’d refused to accept Saffia’s olive branch earlier in the week.

But if you love tuning in to watch utterly pointless and inarticulate arguments, don’t despair! Sophia may have gone - but she let slip that Lisa had a big row with Freddie-the-Halfwit shortly before tonight’s eviction. You can also savour the hugely uncomfortable ongoing conflict between Sree and Cairon, which makes Sophia v Saffia look like a little gentle ribbing between friends.

Joking aside, I can’t help thinking that the bitching and bullying has already gone way too far this year. It’s no fun to watch. In fact, it’s quite depressing. What do you think?

Picture: PA

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Saffia walks out! >>
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Eviction time again

Halfwit Freddie was handed a second chance at staying in the house - after bookies' favourite Sophia left the house in the second eviction.

The mega-rich entrepreneur went head-to-tiny-head with the pint-sized loudmouth in this week's eviction as the public booted out their first housemate. The group will have to put up with Posh Spice for at least another week as the bookmakers' odds-on favourite Sophia got the axe.

Sophia has managed to spark several spats during her short time in the house - with her latest outburst topping all her other rows. The miniature banker infuriated the usually mild-mannered Sree after she branded him a motherf**ker and even insulted his mother, who the Indian student has previously called his god.

But Londoner Sophia has directed most of her venom at single mum Saffia ever since the pair clashed over a task on Day Two. Now both have left the house.

(c) WENN

BB10 - First Eviction

Posted by Dan Curley

The Big Brother house is one lunatic lighter after the first eviction put the six remaining non-housemates up to face the public's wrath. Up and down the country phones were manhandled as people voted to turn their favourite into proper, full housemates. Angel, Sophia, Marcus, Sree and Siavesh were saved, leaving the extraordinarily vacuous Beinazir tossed out into the Big Brother bins where she'll stay until Pret-A-Manger snaps her up.

She had one of the shortest and most miserable careers in reality TV history. Three poxy days, sleeping on a floor eating cold soup is probably not what she signed up for and it was a dismal innings even by Big Brother's standards.

"I'm so f**king sorry," Siavesh elegantly apologised to Beinazir a second after finding out no one voted for her. All the housemates were cheering "Benny! Benny! Benny!" like she'd just scored the winning goal in a FA Cup Final, when in fact she'd just come last in a popularity contest. It was a bleak eviction - no crowd to lay on the cheers and boos, just Davina screeching "Yay!".

It was televisual torture - the likes of which will hopefully put people off ever applying to be a BB contestant.

When asked by Dav about what went wrong, she reasoned: "It could have been anyone of us... If I had my clothes and make-up my personality would have come out more." It was possibly the most flaccid excuse for being booted out the house we've ever heard.

Goodbye Beinazir. You'll be missed - not a jot.

BB10 - Launch Night continued

So, Big Brother's in a vicious mood. After announcing that the 16 "housemates" aren't housemates at all and have to pass a series of tasks before they even get to sleep in a bed, the first challenge was always going to be interesting.

It came quicker than expected. Rodrigo, a Brazilian Zac Efron lookalike, gamely volunteered to enter the diary room and perch his bum on the bizarre new patchwork chair to find out what Big Brother had to say for himself.

The poor mite looked in turns baffled, confused and physically sick when he was asked to find a volunteer, plonk them in the barber's chair, shave off their eyebrows and draw a curly moustache and glasses on them with a marker pen.

Within the next four minutes.

Step forward game volunteer Noirin - unexpectedly, it has to be said. Perhaps she thought her pencilled-on eyebrows might save her, but not a bit of it. Big Brother insisted they come all the way off, and the pair of them made it through to a brave new world of sofas, comfortable beds and shopping tasks.

Bizarre stuff - more like a boozy stag weekend in Prague than anything else. What's next? The "chain your naked best mate to a road sign" task?

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BB 10 - the launch night, part 1 >>
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